


Ghosts ☆ Irondad

by winterfxlcon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Michelle Jones, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Because I stan bisexual peter, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Character Death, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Death, Foster Care, Gen, Good Friend Ned Leeds, He's not trans or anything, Her name is Michael James now, I just made her into a boy, Michelle Jones is a boy, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker is a Mess, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Precious Ned Leeds, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Tony Stark, Soulmates, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-05-19 06:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 43,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19350970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfxlcon/pseuds/winterfxlcon
Summary: Tony Stark thought he had already found his soulmate. He didn't think the universe was allowed to match him to someone twice.His confusion furthered when he saw that his new soulmate was... a sixteen year old boy.But why was this boy alone? Why was he working two jobs? And where did this kid learn to swing from buildings 200 feet in the air?And why, WHY, was the universe telling Tony that this kid was his soulmate?Unless...yes, he had heard of this before. Was he supposed to be....this kids father figure?





	1. Chapter 1

When you're matched to your soulmate, you get pulled from your body. No matter what you're doing or where you are, if the universe decides it's time, your Soul will leave your body.

When you wake up again, you're some sort of ghost following your supposed soulmate around. The goal is to fall in love with this person by seeing them at their most vulnerable.

You fall in love with the best and worst versions of them. You fall in love with their little habits. The things they do when they think no one is watching. 

But it doesn't always work. Pepper Potts, for instance, couldn't fall in love with the narcissistic Tony Stark that clearly had a death wish. When her body finally met her Soul in Tony Starks tower, she turned around and left without a word to her supposed soulmate.

Tony thought that was the end for him. He had never heard of anyone being matched to a soulmate twice. So he lived the rest of his life alone, never having to worry about being pulled from his body at the worst possible time.

Until he was. In the middle of a joyride, his car climbing up to 130mph, his soul was jerked from his body and placed in a rundown 7-11 where the only person was a sixteen year old boy.

\----

I'm not sure what happened to my body when my Soul was jerked from it. I'd like to think it some how got saved from driving off a cliff. I'd never heard of anyone's body being seriously damaged when their Soul left it, and some of them had been doing much more dangerous things than a fast drive down a deserted road.

But that was the least of my worries. The biggest concern pressing at my mind was the sixteen year old I was being forced to watch work. At first I thought there was someone older, someone closer to my age, in the crappy 7-11. But, after close inspection, I had to accept that this kid was the only one there.

I was worried about being paired with this kid, of course. This had to be against the rules, right? Pedophila? The universe shouldn't allow that.

But I was more worried about what the kid was doing. He was left alone in a rundown 7-11 in New York at three in the morning. I knew that even a grown man shouldn't be alone in this part of the city, let alone a sixteen year old.

But I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't have a body. I mean, I could sit down, but I couldn't grab anything and I ran into walls instead of going through them. When I tried to touch the kids arm, he didn't even flinch. So if anything happened, if someone tried to hurt the kid, I wouldn't be able to do anything. All I could do was watch. 

So I did. I watched him flinch every time the bell rang, indicating a new customer. I watched him nervously count and recount the money everytime that customer left. I watched him chew anxiously on his lip while he watched people pass by the store windows. 

He was scared of this place, as he should be. At any moment someone could come through that door with no intention of buying something and this kid would be toast. 

I watched him hug his backpack close to his stomach instead of slinging it over his shoulder while he walked home, knowing how easy it would be for someone to steal stuff from it if he didn't keep a close eye on it. I watched him enter a crappy apartment where he was alone again. 

The first thing the kid did was take a shower and I let out a silent sigh of relief when I was able to leave the bathroom, not being forced to watch that. I took that opportunity to wander around the small two bedroom apartment, frowning. It was clear no one else lived here. Someone else used to, that much was clear. A mom, probably. But she was long gone, leaving nothing but a few articles of clothing and pictures in an otherwise empty bedroom. 

While I was snooping around the almost empty bedroom, I was tugged by an invisible force into another room, where the kid was now fully dressed and bent over a desk covered in loose papers and a few textbooks. I leaned over him, not knowing whether to smile or frown. 

On one hand, I now knew his name. Peter Parker. On the other, he was up at four in the morning doing homework. He should have been sleeping, since he clearly had school in the morning. Why wasn't he sleeping? 

And then, of course, it all hit me. This kid, Peter, lived alone. Completely alone. He had to work at night to get money to feed himself and pay rent, and the only time he had to do his homework was when his shift ended. Then he had to go to school, running on no sleep and an empty stomach, only to repeat the whole process as soon as the final bell rang. 

So, that was one questioned answered. One of many many questions. 

Why did he live alone? Why was no one doing anything about it? Who did he used to live with and why weren't they there anymore? Did anyone know about his situation? How long had he been living like this? 

And the biggest question of all, why was I, Tony Stark of all people, matched with him to be his soulmate? Me, a 47 year old, matched with a sixteen year old? 

-

I quickly learned that as long as Peter was awake, I had to be awake as well. Of course, I didn't feel tired. I wasn't in a body, so I didn't need to sleep or eat. But I wanted to. Watching this kid do homework was so excruciatingly boring. 

But, eventually, he got up and started getting ready for school. I was able to catch a glance into his backpack while he was shoving his books into it and the sight was upsetting, to say the least. 

Stuffed at the bottom of the bag was a red work uniform, which was clearly not the same one he wore earlier in the night, as that one was blue. 

Did Peter have not one, but two jobs? I could hardly wrap my head around that. I knew what it was like to work day and night and never sleep, but I did most of that voluntarily. I could easily make people do my work for me. But this kid... it was a completely different story for him. 

I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt watching him go about his day. I threw money around like it was useless, and there were kids like Peter working two jobs to survive. 

In that moment, I had never felt like such a bad person.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark thought he had already found his soulmate. He didn't think the universe was allowed to match him to someone twice.  
> His confusion furthered when he saw that his new soulmate was... a sixteen year old boy.
> 
> But why was this boy alone? Why was he working two jobs? And where did this kid learn to swing from buildings 200 feet in the air?  
> And why, WHY, was the universe telling Tony that this kid was his soulmate?  
> Unless...yes, he had heard of this before. Was he supposed to be....this kids father figure?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember this is strictly a Platonic father/son relationship!!  
> There were a couple of people confused last chapter as to why I had tagged it under Platonic instead of romantic because they hadn't read the description and realised that this isn't a romantic story.  
> I do not and never will ship Starker! It's pedophila and that's definitely against all of my morals.

School didn't seem too bad for Peter. He had a few friends, I could see that. And they were obviously pretty good ones too, not fake ones sticking around for their own selfish reasons.

One of them (his name was Ned, I think) wouldn't shut up about some new Star Wars Lego set he had gotten, and Peter seemed very interested in that. Sad, though, because he had to work and turn down Ned's invitation to help build it.

The other, Peter called Mj, but he had written Michael James at the top of all of his assignments. As far as I could tell, Peter had a crush on him. That was easy to figure out. He got flustered pretty easily almost anytime he talked to him.

He was a bit harder to read. Actually, nearly impossible to read. He basically had one emotion and that was bored. Bored with everything. That was all. He could hate Peter and I wouldn't be able to tell. 

Peter was good at school. One of the top players in band. One of the best on the Decathlon team. Top marks in his classes, which were all AP. I wasn't sure how he could balance two extracurriculars and all AP classes on top of working two jobs all while running on no sleep, but he seemed to be perfectly fine. For now, at least.

Overall, Peter's life in Midtown Highschool was pretty good. Outside of it was a different story, though.

Peter's second job, working at Target, was at least two hundred times better than his job at 7-11. It was well lit and on one of the less dangerous streets of New York, so even if Peter was working a night shift he'd be safer. Not to mention the fact that the store closes at eleven, so that would be as late as Peter had to work.

It was also a lot less boring to watch the kid work at this job. Instead of sitting around doing nothing for hours at a time, Peter was almost always with a customer. I never really had time to look away. The only time I was able to wander away far enough for Peter to be out of my line of sight was when he was in the restroom.

This confused me immensely. First there was the shower, and now this? I had done extensive research on this soulmate thing after Pepper left, and everyone else was forced to watch everything. Of course, they could avert their eyes, but they had to stay in the room.

Except.... except for one person. An older woman, forced to follow around a twelve year old girl. She didn't have to stick around for those parts. And she...

Could I be the same as her? Instead of being told to date Peter, was I supposed to be.... a father figure to him?

No no no. That couldn't be. I could barely keep _myself_ alive let alone a teenager.

What did the universe expect me to do? Learn to be a parent? There was no way. Absolutely not. Peter would be dead in weeks.

Well, probably not, actually, considering he was doing perfectly fine all on his own, but still! Not to mention the fact that I'd have to move out of the compound and back to the Tower so Peter could keep going to school. There was no way.

Of course I wanted to help this kid. Give him a family to live with, people who could take care of him. But not me. He could live a happier life with almost anyone else in the city than he could with me.

I was dragged out of my thoughts by Peter leaving the restroom, making my Soul jerk to catch up with him while he walked back to his register.

Anyone that didn't know him, didn't see what he had done the night before, would see Peter as any other teenager with a minimum wage job. But I noticed the smaller things.

The bags under his eyes showing through the concealer that he spent so long applying this morning. The way his hands shook ever so slightly every time he tried to grab something. How he took a sip of his seventh cup of coffee everytime he wasn't with a customer. How he nearly fell the second time he took a break to use the bathroom because he was so weak on his feet.

The sight made my heart nearly break in half. This kid was doing everything he could just to stay standing and no one even noticed. All I wanted to do was pull him out of this stupid store and make him take a nap and give him food. Make sure he's comfortable and well rested, even if it means I have to do his work for him.

I'd do it in a heartbeat and that scares me. That scares me to no end. I don't even know this kid. I'd been watching him for less than 24 hours and I already want to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy. That's never happened before.

Well, once maybe. But I left that kid in the middle of a dark street by himself.

Huh. Maybe that's why Pepper didn't want to stick around.

But I'd like to say I've changed in the last ten years. Or at least, I hope I have. I hate the person I used to be. The one that treated women like objects and chugged alcohol like it was water. I did some good things, yeah. But sometimes the bad really outweighed the good.

And on that note, Peter has officially become my responsibility. As soon as I'm back in my body, as soon as I'm able to, I'm going to make sure this poor kid has the life he deserves. I refuse to do what the old me would have done and abandon this kid. I refuse to let that happen.

_________

Instead of going home or to his next job when Peter's shift ended at nine, he started walking in the complete opposite direction of both. I, as much as I didn't want to admit it, had no clue where he was going. I'd like to say I knew the city like the back of my hand, but clearly I didn't, because I quickly got confused with all the twists and turns Peter started taking.

When he finally stopped walking, we were in a graveyard.  A small one, one I'd never even heard of before. Nothing like the big ones my parents were in.

"Hey Aunt May. It's me."

Aunt May. That must have been the person he was living with before.

"It's getting pretty tough without you here, yknow? Working two jobs to pay rent. Still going out as Spiderman when I have the chance. Helping the little guy. Helping people not end up like... like you.

Just got off work, sorry if I seem tired. Haven't been sleeping much. Lots of homework and stuff, you know the drill." Peter sighed and dropped onto the grass in front of the small tomb stone, burying his face in his hands.

"This sucks. This really sucks. I miss you loads. I was just starting to really come to terms with Uncle Ben's death, and then this happened...." Peter trailed off, sitting in silence for the next few minutes.

So, that answers another question. He lived with his Aunt and Uncle, but they had both died. From what I gathered, it had been a while since his Uncles death, but his Aunts was clearly more recent. And his parents must have been dead too, because no parent in their right mind would leave their kid to live like this. Right?

This kid had already had to deal with so much loss at such a young age. Barely halfway through highschool and already experiencing more pain than most adults.

I might not ever be able to compare to his Mom and Dad. Never be as good of a parent as his Uncle and Aunt. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try harder than I've ever tried to do anything before, because I can already see that this kid deserves the world.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a new question.
> 
> Why the hell was this kid wearing a onesie and weird goggles? What was he planning to do? Did this have to do with the Spiderman thing he was telling his Aunt about?

I have a new question.

Why the hell was this kid wearing a onesie and weird goggles? What was he planning to do? Did this have to do with the Spiderman thing he was telling his Aunt about?

I stood outside of Peter's bedroom while he got changed into his weird pajamas and was tugged back in when he started climbing out of the window. The window! 

He had a door! Why was he climbing out the window!? This was so unsafe. He was going to get hurt and I wouldn't be able to anything.

And then... he jumped. He jumped straight off of the fire escape, plummeting towards the pavement.

A silent, strangled scream died in my throat when a white string shot out of a device on his wrist, latching him onto a building moments before he splattered on the sidewalk. He used these strings to swing between buildings, letting out small sounds of genuine happiness. As scared as I was for his life, hearing him be genuinely happy warmed my heart.

After about ten minutes of swinging aimlessly, Peter perched on top of a tall apartment complex. I couldn't see his face as it was hidden underneath his makeshift mask, but I could tell that he was concentrating intensely. On what, I wasn't sure, until he jumped off the building, swinging himself into an alleyway.

At the far end of the alley a tall man, taller than both Peter and I, was trying to force a woman's purse away from her. Peter used his device to pull the purse away, and I could hear the grin in his voice when he spoke.   
"Now, that's not very nice is it?" 

Both the man and woman looked up, frightened. "I mean, sharing is caring man, but that doesn't mean make people share by force!" Peter shot one of his white strings at the man's hands, pinning them to the wall behind him. He let out a strand of curse words, trying to break out of the web-like strings. He wasn't able to, of course. 

Peter walked over to the woman, handing her the bag after pulling his string off of it. "Here you go, Ma'am. Try to avoid dark alleyways on your way home, yeah? Oh, and call the police on this dude!" With that, Peter flung himself out of the alleyway, letting out a small whoop of victory. 

And then I finally got it. Peter was the spiderling from YouTube! The one everyone kept posting videos of. The kid that could stop a 3000 pound car going 40mph. Damn.

Shit, now I didn't know if I should be more or less worried. On one hand, this kid was strong. Like, extremely strong. He could handle a lot. More than I could while running on no sleep. Probably more than I could even when I did sleep. 

On the other hand, he was going out and fighting crime. He could handle a lot, but could he dodge a bullet? Could he handle a fall from hundreds of feet in the air if his string web things failed? How much blood loss could he handle? He's clearly been lucky so far, dealing with smaller criminals, but what's going to happen when he finds someone with worse intentions than stealing a purse? Someone with more experience than these small city robbers?

This went on for a while. The stopping-small-crimes thing. He stopped a car thief, two people trying to break into a store, and one guy who he thought was a car thief but actually had just lost the keys to his own car. That last one really annoyed some people. 

I was relieved when Peter climbed back into his bedroom through his window, forcing me out into the hall while he changed into actual pajamas. According to the clock in the living room, it was only three in the morning. Plus Peter had only gotten one sheet of homework today, so he should be able to get that done and still have a few hours to sleep. 

When I was jerked back into Peter's room, he was once again bent over his desk working on his homework. He finished it within twenty minutes, but to my disappointment, didn't go to sleep. Instead he paced around his room, occasionally sitting down everywhere but his bed. He was clearly avoiding sleep.   
And now, after what I saw today, I was able to guess why. 

Four of the people closest to him had died. He spent his nights fighting crime and trying to make the city of Queens a better place, but that always comes at a price. Anything good comes at a price. And that price is usually watching people get hurt. And typically, when someone gets hurt while you're around, you blame yourself. You blame yourself for a lot of things when you're a "superhero." It's just what we have to do.

All of that, all of the pain and awful memories, were a recipe for nightmares. I knew that better than anyone. 

If Peter was like me, and I could tell he was in some ways, he wouldn't sleep until he passed out. I had been scolded for that many times, mostly by my AI's, and I knew what could happen. Extreme lack of sleep could lead to high blood pressure, strokes, diabetes, heart disease, heart attacks, and a variety of other things having do to with your heart.

Those were just the more extreme examples, obviously. But lack of sleep also makes you confused, often makes it easier to become depressed, lowers your senses and reaction time, and can even lower sex drive. Not that I want this kids sex drive to be higher, of course. He's a kid. I don't want him to have a sex drive at all.

But still, Peter needed sleep. Like, really soon. Otherwise he'd pass out in the middle of work or school and get in trouble. Or at least make a fool out himself. 

When six o'clock came, Peter didn't start getting ready for school. I figured that maybe it was a late start day. I had heard of schools having one of those every week. 

But two hours later, Peter still wasn't getting ready. Maybe so he could sleep during the day? I don't know how that would help the nightmares, he'd probably still have them. Or maybe he felt sick? But he looked as healthy as he possibly could be with how little sleep he had been getting. Mental health day, maybe? That'd make sense. I mean after what I learned today (or last night?) it'd make sense for him to take a few of those. Or a lot of those. 

After a while, Peter flopped face first into bed and burrowed under the covers. It took a long time, a few hours, but he eventually fell asleep. A fitful sleep, of course. Thrashing around and whimpering every couple of minutes. Even waking up a few times gasping for breath. 

And all I wanted to do was reach out and help. Tell him it would be okay and that there was someone here for him. But I couldn't, and that frustrated me to no end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kinda iffy. I haven't really been sleeping much - or at all- recently and it really shows in my quality of writing.  
> I probably won't update much for a while. Im gonna start working on my summer homework assignments and then do "vacation" stuff.  
> (I'm poor so vacation means drive for a few hours and stay at a crappy hotel that's kinda somewhat near a beach. Not to mention the fact that all of the beaches on the Oregon coast suck.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing could compare to this. No physical or emotional pain that I felt before could come anywhere close to the pain I felt right now.

Today Peter woke up hyperventilating. He was sobbing and gasping for air and shaking so much that I thought he was going to fall off the bed.

I wanted to help. I wanted to just grab him and hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, that whatever he was dreaming about wasn't real and he's safe and at home. I wanted to protect him from whatever was in that dream. 

And it hurt. It really fucking hurt. Yknow, I thought I knew pain. I thought I knew what it felt like to hurt before. To physically hurt so bad that even breathing is a chore. To physically hurt so bad that moving even the tiniest bit is like ten thousand lightning bolts hitting you all at once. To physically hurt so bad that opening your eyes takes the same level of exertion as lifting four thousand pounds. 

When I got an entire moon thrown at me, yeah, that hurt pretty damn bad. When I actually did get hit with the equivalent of ten thousand lightning bolts, that hurt quite a bit as well. I've felt a lot of physical pain before. So much that I felt like I had the weight of the entire world literally sitting on my chest. 

I thought I knew what it felt like to be sad before. To feel emotional pain so bad that it literally made your heart ache. When my soulmate didn't even give me a chance. When I saw people dying on my watch when I was supposed to be protecting them. When Steve and I fought that first time and I thought I would never talk to him again. When I watched that stupid thug grab Harley and try to hurt him.   
All of that hurt pretty damn bad too.

But this.... nothing could compare to this. No physical or emotional pain that I felt before could come anywhere close to the pain I felt right now. 

Watching this kid, this kid who should be playing video games. Who should be building Lego sets with his best friend. Who should be out on a date with a pretty girl getting flustered everytime she looks at him. Who should be with his parents and aunt and uncle eating waffles and making fun of eachother. Who should be doing anything, anything other than what he's doing right now. 

Watching this kid be in so much pain that he could barely breath. Watching him be so scared of whatever he had to see in his dream that he was shaking worse than Strange.   
Watching him hurt and not being able to do anything about it hurt me more than anything else ever has. I've never felt this before. Any of this. I had never felt an urge this strong to protect anyone. Never wanted to feel someone else's pain just to take it away from them. And I've never, ever felt this helpless. 

__________

 

Peter didn't go to school again. This was the fourth time in the nine days I've been watching him. But today was the first day that he was skipping because of work. 

It was his job at 7-11. As much as I hated him skipping school, I was grateful he had gotten an earlier shift so he didn't have to work at night again. I wish he didn't have to work at all, of course, but if this was the best I could get, I'd take it. 

It was boring watching him work, obviously. It always is. But I'd much rather watch this than watch him be in pain. This was so much better. 

Today was a bit less boring than the rest of his shifts, though. Well, not really, but it was different. After a particularly slow few hours, Peter stepped around the counter and grabbed a box of poptarts off one of the shelves. He shoved a bit of money into the cash register and grabbed a poptart out of the box, shoving it into his mouth. 

That had never happened before. Actually, I'd never seen Peter buy anything in the nine days I've been watching him. I've seen him eat, but I've never actually seen him buy any food. He ate a normal amount, so it's odd that he hasn't run out of food by now. Well, he actually only ate one meal a day, but I was the same way as a teenager. I'm actually still kind of the same way now. So distracted and busy with everything else that I don't really think about eating.

So I was pretty excited to see him eating his second "meal" of the day. You can't really count two poptarts as a meal, but like every other small thing today, I'm counting it as a win.

The rest of his shift passed pretty uneventfully. There was one other person that came in for a shift and worked with Peter for the last two hours of his shift, but they didn't talk at all. Like, at all. They didn't even say hi to eachother. Wonder what the story behind that is.

After work, Peter stopped at Ned's house.

"Hey Peter! I'm so glad you were able to come over. After you weren't at school I didn't know if you'd be available or if your shift would go too long or whatever. Look, I got the Milano! Yknow, the Gaurdians ship? It has over 1000 pieces!" Ned said excitedly while him and Peter ran up the stairs to his room. I let out a snort that no one could hear, shaking my head in amusement while I got pulled along behind the two of them. 

The Gaurdians were twits. Complete idiots. They had no clue what they were doing ninety percent of the time. Out of all the heros in the universe, these doofuses chose to idolize them. 

"Seriously? Dude that's awesome!" Peter seemed genuinely excited about the Lego set, and it was hard not to laugh at that. He was such a nerd. 

"We never got to build the death star though. You were busy with work and all. So we can build that one instead if you want!"

"I'm cool with whatever you want."

"Well the Death Star is almost four thousand pieces, so it'll take a lot longer to build. How long do you have?" Ned pulled two boxes out of his closet while Peter sat himself cross-legged on the carpet.

"I've got all night, man. We could build both if we really try."

"No way. I know you don't ever sleep but some of us put in some hard work to look this good. I need my beauty sleep."

Peter laughed at that, punching Ned's arm lightly. "Death Star?"

"Yes!! Okay so..."

Ned went on to explain how they were going to build it, but I tuned it out. I didn't care for that kind of stuff. I preferred....well, basically anything else, as long as it's electronic.

It was just nice seeing Peter happy and doing normal teenager stuff, especially after this morning.

I finally felt like I could relax, even if it was only for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another iffy chapter. Sorry guys. I'm only four chapters in and the quality is already steadily declining.  
> Hope you enjoyed anyways?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a week and a half left. That's all. I'm halfway through. I just gotta make it another ten days? I can do that. Yeah. Just ten more days.

I'm getting tired of this. This is such a shit system. Forcing someone to watch someone else be in pain and not allowing them to help? It's shit.

I'm just so tired of not being able to do anything. I can't touch him. I can't talk to him. I can't hug him. I can't stop anyone trying to hurt him. I can't tell him to take a break and eat. I can't give him tips to help fall asleep. I can't tell him to make sure he's drinking enough water. I can't call a hospital if he gets hurt while out as Spiderman. I can't do anything.

I'm completely useless.

For the first time in my life, I want to be a better person. I want to do what I should have done ten years ago with Harley. I don't want to leave this kid, but how can I leave him if he doesn't even know I was here in the first place? It's just shit.

_"Move out of the way or I'm gonna run you over. Bye kid."_

_"So now you're just gonna leave me here? Like my dad?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I'm cold."_

_"I can tell. Go home, kid."_

As much as I try to forget that, I never can. He pretty much saved my life, even though he was only, what, eight years old or something? And I just... left him.

Yeah, I built him a pretty sweet lab and stuff, but does that really make up for what I did? He had already been left by his dad, and then I went off and left him too.

And it's not like I left him at his house. No, I left him in the middle of the night standing alone on the streets. Didn't even give him a ride back home, which was the least I could have done.

I'm not going to do that again. I'm not going to leave Peter. I know what it feels like to be left by the person who was supposed to love you forever, and even though I'm not supposed to love him in that way, because that's disgusting, I'm still supposed to be here for him.

His parents died (I think. Still don't have all the details on that.) His uncle died. And then his aunt died. He clearly didn't have any other relatives, because he'd be living with them right now if he did. So either his entire family is dead, or most of them are just assholes.

I could fix that. Bring him back to the compound and let him find a whole new family with the Avengers. It worked for most of them. Nat had no one, Thor lost all of his family, Bruce had no one, Steve had no one, I had no one, and Clint has a family but that's not important. The point is, most of us were completely alone, and then by some twist of fate with an eyepatch, we found a family in eachother.

Peter could have that too. He could be part of our little family. I could have a room set up for him within a day.

I could get him an upgraded suit. One with extra protection and more webbing options and his own AI. A suit that'd make it way less likely for him to get hurt.

I could make him a section in the training room to swing around on. Make sure he's properly trained and ready to take on some bigger stuff so he'll be okay if something bigger happens.

I could introduce him to the team. He'd probably really like Natasha and Clint. Bruce too, since he's into all of the science-y stuff.

He'd have at least one meal every day that's cooked by an actual person, not some store bought Ramen or poptarts. Well, he'd probably be having pizza quite a lot too, but Steve likes to cook pretty often to balance that out.

He'd have a bigger bed. His twin sized one is not even close to big enough, especially when he thrashes around in it. I'm always afraid he's going to fall off of it.

The most important thing is that he wouldn't be alone. He'd have friends and a family. He'd be living with other people. He'd always have someone to turn to if he needed to talk. He'd have someone to hug whenever he wanted (he's a hugger. He hugs a pillow to his chest everytime he does his homework, watches TV, or tries to sleep.)

He'd be happy. He wouldn't have to work anymore. He'd have time to do all of the stuff he actually enjoys doing. He could be a normal teenager for once.

Okay, well, maybe not normal. I guess normal teenagers don't have the abilities of a spider. And they definitely don't live with the Avengers. But they also don't work two jobs. They don't skip school to sleep because they haven't slept in four days (most of them, at least.)

They don't go out and fight crime every night. They don't live alone at the age of sixteen. They don't pay for their own apartment and food and everything else.

Kids shouldn't have to do that. Peter shouldn't have to do that. And I'm getting really god damn sick of having to watch it happen.

Just a week and a half left. That's all. I'm halfway through. I just gotta make it another ten days? I can do that. Yeah. Just ten more days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo so I'm in seaside and I didn't really have much time to proof read this chapter. If you find mistakes please comment!!
> 
> I'm gonna see FFH in like half an hour so that's rad. I'll let you guys know what I think at the end of the next chapter I post (I won't spoil I promise)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a grinning, blushing idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo if you've been reading the chapters as they've been published, you're going to notice that Mj is a bit different now.  
> Basically, im a gay guy, and I hate writing straight romance. It sucks. Soooo, I've changed the story so that Mj is now a cis guy named Michael James.  
> Okay that's all, enjoy!

"Hey Peter, it's Mj. How'd you get an A on the stupid math test? You're never even in class. Anyways, call me back or whatever. Or just text. Don't care. Need to give you the information for the decathlon thing since you missed another meeting. I'm gonna go now." Peter listened to the voicemail about forty times, getting increasingly flustered everytime.

He never called back. I think he texted. I'm not sure, I stopped paying attention to him about the thirtieth time he replayed the voicemail.

He must have texted Mj, because after he got tired of the voicemail, he sat there staring at his phone like a dumbass. It was kind of entertaining, actually.

Everytime his phone buzzed with a new notification, he jumped, then looked around with a beat-red face, making sure no one had snuck into the apartment and saw him do that - _Little does he know_ \- He was really into this boy and literally anyone who's ever laid eyes on him could see that.

I really hope that Mj is his soulmate. His actual soulmate, obviously. After all the crap this kid has gone through, he really deserves at least one good thing in his life. If he gets anything out of all of this shit, it should be a decent soulmate.

They could talk about sciencey stuff together. Mj was pretty smart, obviously, as he was the captain of the Decathlon team. He'd be the perfect soulmate for Peter.

He'd balance out Peter's personality almost perfectly. After watching him today, the first day he hasn't had school or work, I've realized that he's really....hyper. He never stops fidgeting. Even right now he's messing with the strings on his hoodie.

And he talks a lot. A lot. Especially around Ned. He kind of never shuts up. And then, for someone that's trying to stop crime and be a superhero, Peter is extremely clumsy. He's constantly tripping over himself and furniture. Also, he gets excited about everything. Everything is some new adventure to him.

Mj is the complete opposite. He's grounded. He's calm. He's observant and thinks things through, where Peter jumps straight into situations.

He's quiet, at least at school. I've never seen him outside of it, obviously.  And, as I mentioned before, he's a bit of a nerd. Him and Peter would always have science stuff to talk about. They'd be like... the younger, cuter, soulmate versions of the Science Bros.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts in a panic when Peter made a small, strangled sound. After close inspection, he looked perfectly fine, other than the fact that his face was more red than his Ironman poster -yes, he has a poster of me. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I think I love it. But he also has one of Steve so....-

I walked/glided to his bed so I could look over his shoulder to see what could have possibly made him that flustered. I already knew it was Mj, of course. I just wanted to know what he had said.

The text was... confusing. Not the actual text, of course. It was just a bunch of information about their decathlon tournament or something. What confused me was why that made Peter so freaked out and flustered. He could barely even type out a coherent reply.

I kind of wanted to knock him upside the head and tell him to get it together. That he was acting like a fool. But this was normal teenager stuff. And normal teenager stuff, even if it made him look like an idiot, was good. Anything that made him act like a kid was a good thing.

Plus, it's not like I could have done it even if I wanted to. My hand would have hit him, yes, but he wouldn't have flinched. He wouldn't have shown any indication that he had felt it, because he wouldn't have. Which, as I've said many times, pisses me off.

But you know that by now. You know that I hate everything about this. I sound like a broken record. So I'm not going to get into it.

Peter's a grinning, blushing idiot. He and Mj have finished their conversion, yet he's still flustered as if Mj is right in front of him. Right now I kind of wish he would go take a shower or something so I don't have to watch all of this gross love stuff.

Yeah, I like knowing something is  making him happy, and I like knowing that he's acting like a normal teenager, but this mushy stuff is not my thing. I stopped caring about love and stuff when Pepper left.

'Course, as aforementioned, I like that Peter has this boy. And I like thinking that they might be soulmates.  
But it makes me a bit... sad? Thinking that I'm never going to get that. I know that the universe has given me a second chance to have someone, even if it's not a romantic partner, but that doesn't make me stop wanting someone.

It'd just be nice to have someone that cares about you like that, yknow? More than just a friend or a family member.

It's probably stupid. I'm better off on my own. Plus I have the team, and soon enough I'll have Peter too. So it's fine. Who needs a soulmate when you have a great family?

It's fine. It really is. A soulmate would just distract me from my work. They'd probably ruin some of it, too. I definitely don't need any more distractions.

So I'll be fine. Alone is better. No distractions. No obligation to remember anniversarys. Nothing mushy. Alone is better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I WATCHED FAR FROM HOME AND I WONT SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WOW THAT MOVIE BLEW MY FUCKING MIND BRO. THE MIDCREDIT SCENE? UNBELIEVABLE.  
> THE END CREDIT SCENE? *chefs kiss*  
> THE WHOLE MOVIE? *chefs kiss*  
> PERFECTION. SO MUCH BETTER THAN HOCO.  
> (also, that picture of Peter... is cursed. if you've seen the movie you know what im talking about)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Peter doesn't want to go with me?

Three more days.

That's all.

Just three more days.

Three more days and the three weeks will be over with.

Three more days and I'll get to actually be there for Peter.

Three more days and I can talk to Peter.

Three more days until I get to explain everything to him.

Tell him that he doesn't have to keep living alone. Tell him that he doesn't have to work two jobs anymore. Tell him that he has a better place to live now, if he'll accept it. Tell him that his life is done being so shitty.

Three more days and I can hug him.

Three more days and I can take away all of his pain. (Not all of it. The mental pain will still be there. I know that. But everything else? I can try to fix that)

Three more days and everything will be okay again. Peter will have someone to turn to. An adult he can trust. Someone that cares about him. A better place to live. A family.

He'll have a better life. I can give him a better life. All I have to do is stick it out for three more days. 

I think I can do that. Well, I kind of have to do that. I don't really have a choice. I guess I could close my eyes for the next three days? But that's just idiotic. 

Today was rough for Peter. He had a shift at Target in the morning before school, and there were two particular customers that were frustrating to no end. One kept insisting that Peter didn't give him the correct amount of change, even after three different employees counted the money and told him that Peter had done it correctly. Then he went off on a whole rant about why highschoolers are stupid and shouldn't be working, and it was kind of obvious that Peter wanted nothing more than to scream right back at him. He didn't though. 

And then another customer was trying to get her money back on a toy she had bought three months ago. It was out of the package, snapped in half, and she had no receipt. Even if Peter wanted to, he couldn't give her the money back. So he had to deal with another person screaming at him for doing his job correctly until the manager came out and fixed the problem. But then the stupid manager got mad at Peter for not getting her in the first place. 

It was just a shitty shift and although Peter handled it very well, way better than I would have, it clearly drained what little energy he had for the day. 

Then he went to school, but Ned was sick and Mj only had one class with him. He had no one to sit with at lunch and some stupid kid with a stupid name (flashdrive?) kept calling Peter "Penis Parker." He didn't have the guts to do anything other than call him names from across the cafeteria, so it seemed like Peter was able to do a pretty good job of ignoring it.   
He also had a huge English test, which I'm pretty sure he aced, but he was  stressed over it. 

Then after school he had another shift at 7-11. Which was just.... boring. There's never anything special about this job. He stands there and does nothing for hours at a time, but if he's lucky he'll get a customer or even two. And he usually works alone, like today, so he has no one to talk to. 

And then, because this kid doesn't know when to take a damn break, he went out as Spiderman. It was pretty calm compared to the other times Peter has gone out, but he didn't get back to the apartment until four in the morning. He's been doing stuff non-stop for 39 hours and I'm a bit worried for his health. 

I'm probably going to have him checked into the medbay once we get back to the compound. That is, if he even agrees to come with me. 

I've been trying not to think about that, but it's definitely a possibility. He can choose to stay here. To keep working two jobs. He can turn down my offer to come live at the compound. 

Even if he does that, I'll still probably check in on him regularly, but what if he tells me to stop? What if he wants me to just leave him alone? 

I don't know what I'll do if that happens. It would be three weeks of worrying and pain and fear for nothing. Three weeks of planning how to make this kids life better down the drain. 

This is the first time I've really let myself think about it, and now I wish I hadn't. I can't cry or make noise or anything in this form, but I'm pretty sure I'd be crying if I was in my actual body. 

And I don't cry often. Or, at all. Feelings like that are typically pushed to the very back of my mind and ignored. Blocked out. 

I don't want to think about this anymore. I want to believe that Peter will go with me. But the more I try not to think about it, the louder the thoughts get. 

What if he doesn't want my help and I agree to leave him alone, but then something happens to him? What if he gets hurt and I can't do anything? What if he...dies? 

Anything could happen. When he's at work or out as Spiderman or even just sitting in the apartment, anything can happen. 

Would it be my fault? If something happens after I agree to leave him, would that make it my fault if something happens? Because I'm not there to stop it from happening? 

If this kid gets hurt on my watch, I don't know what I'll do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i wrote this chapter at like, 4am, so I'm sorry if the quality is... shitty.
> 
> We're getting really close to them meeting. Are you guys excited? I know I'm super excited to write that chapter.   
> Comments and Kudos are what keep me. motivated to write, so don't be afraid to share your thoughts on the chapter! Hated it? Let me know why. Loved it? What was your favourite part?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what the soulmate system is supposed to be like. Watching someone have fun and dance around when they think no one is watching. Memorizing their little habits when they think they're alone. 
> 
> Its supposed to be fun like this. It's not supposed to be stressful. It's not supposed to be weeks of worrying.

_____

Today wasn't bad. Not at all.  
Peter didn't have any shifts, and since it's Sunday, he didn't have school. He just... chilled at home.

He took a nap, and it seemed like he didn't have any nightmares. At least, none that made him thrash around or make noises.

He even got up and made food. Not ramen or poptarts, but an actual meal. Granted, it was just poorly made spaghetti, but that's still a meal.

He danced around the small kitchen while he made it, sliding around the hardwood floor in his socks. It was good music, too! A lot of ACDC and Queen, but there were some very poppy songs I could have done without listening to. He seemed to enjoy them, though.

The most amusing part was how often he fell. He didn't even trip over anything. He just...fell. Sometimes he tripped over the ends of his sweatpants, which were far too long for his legs, but usually he just tripped over nothing.  
It's amazing that he's still alive, honestly.

This is what the soulmate system is supposed to be like. Watching someone have fun and dance around when they think no one is watching. Memorizing their little habits when they think they're alone.

Its supposed to be fun like this. It's not supposed to be stressful. It's not supposed to be weeks of worrying.

I wish everyday was like this for Peter. I wish that I could see this side of him more often. Happy. Hyper. Not a care in the world.

When he finished eating the spaghetti, he sat down at his desk and opened his laptop, searching "spiderman" on YouTube.

He clicked through a couple of videos, grinning from time to time when he saw that someone had caught him doing something cool like a backflip.

Sometimes he pouted at the screen, muttering something along the lines of "it's spider _man_ not spider _boy"_

He got bored of that pretty quickly. He had a short attention span. So, he called Ned.

"Hey Ned! You wanna hang out? I don't have any shifts today. Really? Awesome! Your house or mine? Cool, I'm gonna take the suit so I'll be there in ten. Yeah, it'll be fine. I've done it before and no one has seen me.

"God, if you're going to freak out about it so much then fine, I'll walk. I'll be there in like half an hour. Yeah. See you then."

As soon as Peter hung up, he walked over to his dresser and I was forced out into the hallway. When he emerged from his bedroom again, he was wearing dark blue jeans and a shirt with what looked like the Periodic Table Of Elements, but instead of elements it had the names of different superheros. It was kind of a cool shirt. (I was right where lithium was supposed to be)

The walk to Ned's house was quick and uneventful. It was just like any typical walk through the city of Queens. Crowded, loud, and always moving. Nothing was ever still.

Peter stopped at a small sandwich stop, Delmar's, on the way and got a sandwich for both him and Ned. He had a bit of a conversation with the owner of the shop, which ended up being the only downside of his day.

"Hey Peter! How's your aunt?"

"She's uh, yeah she's great."

"Glad to hear it. Number five, right?"

"Yeah, two. One with pickles, please."

"On it."

Seemingly a normal conversation to anyone else, but I didn't miss the way that Peter's expression fell slightly at mention of his aunt. I don't know why Peter lied. I know that Ned and Mj know about his aunts death, so why does he lie to everyone else about it?

I pondered over that while Peter finished the walk to Ned's house, which took about forty minutes.  
I came to two possible answers:

1) Peter is afraid that if someone finds out he's living alone, they'll put him in foster care.

2) He doesn't want anyone to worry about him.

Maybe I'll ask him about it someday, but probably not. I don't want to open any wounds because I can't keep my curiosities to myself.

"Hey Ned, heads up!" When Peter walked into Ned's house -without knocking, I may add- he threw the wrapped sandwich at Ned, which hit his friend square in the face when he tried to whirl around and catch it.

"Dude, not cool. Not cool."

"I got you a sandwich! You should be thanking me!"

"Not after you hit me in the face with it! You don't deserve thanks!"

"Oh whatever, I know deep down you're grateful."

"Ehhh not really. Whatcha want to do?"

"Hmmm. What about a starwars marathon? Haven't had one of those in a while."

"Totally down for that. You wanna spend the night?"

"Uhh, sure. I have a shift before school though, so I'll probably leave before you wake up."

"Cool. You get the movies set up and I'll go get some snacks to go with these sandwiches."

"Sounds like a plan."

With that, Ned walked off into the kitchen while Peter plopped down onto the sofa.

They spent the rest of the night laughing and watching Star Wars and just... being normal. It was nice. It was really nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this AU Peter isn't stupid and knows who acdc is


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more day.
> 
> Its the last day I have to watch Peter, and I was really hoping it would be a good one. I was hoping to end this whole thing on a good note.
> 
> Hoping wasn't enough.

_____  
One more day.

Its the last day I have to watch Peter, and I was really hoping it would be a good one. I was hoping to end this whole thing on a good note.

Hoping wasn't enough.

It was worse than the other day, when he had to work two crappy shifts, in a way. He still hasn't slept. Nearly 78 hours without sleep and he still has to go to work and school.

He only had one shift today. It was another one before school, but it was at 7-11, so he didn't have to deal with many dickheads like he did at Target. He did have to deal with the very strong smell of weed, though. He spent almost the entire shift with his shirt covering his nose and mouth.

You'd think that someone living in New York would be used to the smell of drugs, but Peter wasn't, and he clearly hated it. 

He had this shift with another person. Someone he hadn't worked with in the three weeks I've been watching him. They seemed to be on good terms and they worked well together, but Peter still looked like he was ready to bolt from the store at any moment. 

The shift passed pretty well, actually. So did school, since Ned was back. Flashdrive seemed to tone down the annoying comments and names when Peter was with Ned, but not by much. He always came back to "Penis Parker," which wasn't even that funny or insulting. 

He even hung out with both Mj and Ned after school, helping Mj make signs for some protest he was going to. He really seemed to enjoy that, actually. They spent the entire two hours doing that laughing and screwing around with eachother. There may have been a small paint fight towards the end in which the entire left side of Peter's face got covered in green paint. 

So, why was today worse than the other day, even though it seems to be going far better? I'm getting there. 

Most of the day passed by wonderfully. Peter was a normal teenager with a job. Until the sun went down. 

Peter quickly changed into his onesie-suit like thing and jumped out of the window, which was his typical procedure for going out as Spiderman. 

He swung around for a while, seemingly just to enjoy the night air, before perching on top of a short low apartment complex to listen for anything out of the ordinary. 

It was a pretty routine night. He stopped a couple of small crimes, actually got into a fight with someone, which doesn't happen often, as he's usually able to just pin them to a wall and call the cops. 

He came out unscathed, and the other guy probably had nothing worse than a concussion. Peter was clearly trying very hard not to hurt him. 

So, it was a good day. Good shift, good day at school, good time out as spiderman. 

And then he ran out of webbing. Mid-swing, trying to get onto a higher tower, the webs just... stopped coming out of the device on his wrist. He didn't scream, he didn't make any noise at all, but he fell onto the sidewalk with a sickening crunch. 

He was twenty feet in the air at most, but that's still high enough to do quite a bit of damage. 

He mostly came out of it with many scrapes and bruises, but he had definitely screwed up his ankle. Pretty badly, too. He couldn't put any weight on it without letting out a small grunt of pain or falling over. 

He pulled his phone out of some place in his stupid onesie, dialing someone's number. 

"Hey, Ned, yknow how your cousin just got her driver's license? Could she maybe, possibly, if it's not too much trouble, come pick me up?"

"What? No, I'm fine. Just need a bit of help. Yeah. Where am I? Uhhhh, hold on, I can't really see much where I am."

"Okay. I'm by where Stark Tower was? Just down the street from there. Ten minutes? Yeah, I can wait. Thanks so much. See ya." Peter ended the call and slumped against a lamp post, throwing his head back to stare at the black sky. 

"Hey! Peter!" 

Peter searched the street, finally finding Ned's head poking out of a small silver car. Peter walked over to it, trying his best not to limp or show discomfort. 

"You alright man?" Ned asked when Peter slid into the back seat. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ran out of web-" Peter's eyes flicked to Ned's cousin and he stopped himself, rewording. "Got lost and my phones dead so I had no way home." 

"She knows, idiot. You're wearing your suit," Ned said. "So what actually happened?" 

"Shit. She's not gonna tell anyone?" 

"No, I'm not. Ned made me swear. Threatened me a bit, too." 

"Sweet. Thanks Kristie. Anyways, I ran out of webbing. Might have fallen off a building. Hurt my ankle a bit. Nothing major, just needed a way home." 

"You fell off of a building?! Peter that doesn't seem like 'nothing major!!' You need to get your ankle checked out."

"No, I really am fine, Ned. I promise." 

Ned looked skeptical, but nodded, deciding not to press it. Peter was very clearly not fine. I could see that, Ned could see that, and Kristie, who couldn't even see Peter, could definitely hear it in his voice. 

"Here we are. You need help getting up the stairs?" Ned asked, already getting out of the car and dodging oncoming traffic to help Peter out of the car. 

"Actually yeah, that'd be a huge help. Thanks." 

Peter threw an arm around Ned's shoulder and limped into the apartment building, looking relieved at not having to fake it and walk on his bad ankle. The apartment building, being one of pretty low quality, didn't have any elevators. Wonderful. 

It was a whole process to get Peter up the stairs, and Ned was half-carrying him by the time they got to the third floor. "You need me to do anything else?" 

"No. Thanks loads, Ned. And tell Kristie thank you too. You've both been a huge help. See you at school Monday?" 

"Yeah, and get your ankle checked out before then or I'll make you see the school nurse. See you." The two of them did their weird handshake thing and Ned walked back down the stairs, leaving Peter to get settled on the couch in his apartment. 

He managed to prop his foot up on a few pillows and get comfy on the couch without putting too much strain on his ankle. 

This is where he spent the rest of the night, browsing Netflix aimlessly and never really getting into the movies or shows he put on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> they're gonna meet next chapter. im planning on writing it in 3rd person pov instead of Tony's pov so we can get an insight on peters thoughts as well. does that seem fine? or should i stick with Tony's pov?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, oh fuck, I just materialized in a sixteen year olds living room and he's probably freaked out because he doesn't know who I am!
> 
> -
> 
> Holy shit, Tony Stark is in my living room, and he probably hates me because i look like a wreck!

_________________________________________________

Tony Stark is going to appear in the middle of Peter Parkers living room at any moment. He knows that. Peter, unfortunately, does not know that.

Tony spends four hours planning what he's going to say to Peter, while Peter is blissfully unaware of his presence and is content watching television.

By the time six o'clock rolls around, Tony isn't allowed to think anymore. His body comes into existence right in front of Peter with a loud 'pop,' and all he has to do is step into it before he's able to actually be with this kid.

So he does.

Peter lets out a loud yelp, scrambling backwards on the couch. Tony stands there and stares at him for a few minutes, all of his previous plans going out the window when he pulls Peter off of the couch and into a tight hug. Peter, after a moment, after realizing who this is, wraps his arms tightly around Tony's middle. Tony shifts slightly and Peter let's out a small hiss of pain when his weight lands on his bad ankle. 

"Oh shit, right! I'm so sorry. I forgot. Sit down," Tony let's go of Peter and steps back abruptly as if he was burned. 

"Oh God, oh fuck. I just showed up in your living room. Holy shit. Okay. You probably don't even know who I am and I'm just here now. Great. You think I'm crazy. I'm sorry. Shit," Tony rambles on and on, tugging at his hair. He just materialized in the middle of a sixteen year olds living room. And he's freaking out. 

But now Peter is freaking out too, because holy shit Tony Stark is in his living room. "Oh my god oh my god you're Tony Stark. Ironman. Holy crap Ironman is in my living room. Why are you here? Where did you come from? Oh shit I look terrible don't I?" 

Now they're both freaking out and blubbering like idiots and neither one knows what to do. And then, neither of them are really sure why, but Tony is crying. Peter cuts himself off, staring up at Tony with wide eyes. 

"Mr.Stark? Sir? Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?" 

Tony laughs through his tears, pressing his palms into his eyes. "No, no. You did absolutely nothing wrong. God, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry, Peter." 

"Why do you keep apologizing? What's wrong? How do you know my name? Why are you here?" 

Tony takes a deep breath and takes a moment to sort himself out before speaking again. "Can I, uh, do you mind if I sit down?" 

"Oh! Right, of course-" Peter starts scrambling around, trying to make room on the couch, but Tony is quick to stop him. 

"No! No, stop. You're hurt, keep your ankle up. I'll just, uh, I'll get a chair, okay? Stop moving." Tony stands there awkwardly for a few moments, not really sure what to do, until Peter points to the dining room. He nods and pulls one of the chairs away from the table and places it in front of Peter. 

"So uh, right. I'm in your living room. Okay. You know about the whole soulmate thing, right?" 

"Yeah, of course. Everyone doe- oh god you're not my soulmate right? I mean, no disrespect towards you of course, but that's just a bit weird. That's like, really weird. " 

"No, I'm not. You ever hear of Rena Wilson?" 

Peter racked his brain for a few moments, before nodding. "She was like, a parental figure? OHHHH OH MY GOD!!" 

"Woah, okay, don't yell," Tony winces and massages his temples. After three weeks of not really feeling anything, it kind of felt like he was hungover. Major sensory overload. 

"Sorry. So what, are you like, my... dad now? That doesn't really seem...normal." Peter asks, his voice getting much softer than it was before. 

"In a way, I think. Yeah. I'm just supposed to, yknow, make sure you don't die and stuff?"

Peter stifles a small laugh, shaking his head. "I mean, being a parent is a bit more than that. But yeah, that seems like the basic gist of it."

"Whatever, I'm new to this. So you basically know what the whole parental figure soulmate thing is?" 

"I mean, not really? I've heard of it, I guess. But I don't really know what it is? Like, is it the same as normal soulmate? The process of it, I mean. Like, you had to watch me? Did you have to watch everything? Or just some parts? How long have you been watching me? Where do you go from here? Do I have to change my last name? Shit, I don't want to change my last name. It's the only connection I have to my Aunt and Uncle. I don't want to lose that. Do I have to? Oh God please say no. I just don't think- I don't know- I just-" Peter cuts himself off with a deep breath, burying his face in his hands. 

"Hey, Peter, calm down. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, okay? Calm down," Tony reaches out to touch Peter, to place a hand on his shoulder and calm him down, but Peter flinches away from him. It's understandable. Tony feels like he already knows Peter, but this is Peter's first time actually meeting Tony. He can't be expected to trust him right away. 

Tony sits back and let's Peter compose himself, which takes a while. But when he's finally calm enough to ask questions, Tony answers them. All of them. Eventually, Peter runs out of things to ask, but he's still confused. 

"I'm not really sure where to go from here. I'm about as new to this as you are. Do you wanna, er, come live at the compound?" Tony asks, trying to conjure up some sort of the plan in his mind. 

"The compound? Like the Avengers base?!" 

"I guess that's one way to put it." 

"Dude, yes?! Shit, really? Is this a joke? Are you screwing with me? Is this some like, reality show or something? Or some charity thing?" 

"Uh, no. This is real. I didn't spend three weeks watching you for 'some charity thing.' So, yes, you're gonna come?" 

"Holy shit, man. Yeah, I'm gonna come."

"Langauge. Okay, great! Thank God, I was actually super worried about that. So, next-" 

"You were worried about me saying no?" 

"I didn't say that. Now, you need to quit your jobs."

"What?! No, I can't just quit my jobs!" 

Tony shoots Peter his best I'm-your-boss-now-you-have-to-listen look. "You don't need to provide for yourself anymore, Peter. You know I can get you whatever you need." 

"Yeah, but-"

"No. No buts."

"Are you sure you're new to this? Fine. Whatever. I'll quit." 

Tony rolls his eyes, staring at Peter incredulously. "Whatever? Peter, your life is a living hell right now. You're working two jobs just to live, on top of going to school and trying to be a hero. I'm trying to help you."

"I know. I know it's just- I'm sorry, Sir. You're right. I'll quit."

Tony's expression softens, a small frown coming over his expression. "It's alright, Kid. Why don't you want to quit?" 

"It just.. I dunno. It doesn't seem fair. I don't know. I don't want to get into it." 

Tony kind of wants to press. He wants to know how this could possibly be unfair. But Peter is upset, and Tony doesn't want to make that worse. "Let's go get you some clothes, yeah? Just clothes and whatever you need for tonight. Happy can get the rest of your stuff later."

"Wait, we're doing this now?" 

"Yeah? What, did you think we had to wait for a formal invitation from Fury? C'mon, let's go, I'll help you walk." 

"I don't- I don't need help walking," Peter grumbles, his face flushing. 

"Yes, you do." Tony stands up and holds a hand out for Peter, who ignores it and pushes himself off the couch. "Don't be stubborn, kid." Tony grabs one of Peter's arms and hooks it around his neck, helping him limp into his bedroom. At this point there's not much Peter can do to stop it. 

"You sit. I'll get your stuff. You just tell me what you want me to grab. And don't you dare try to argue with me," Tony says, situating Peter on his bed and shooting him a warning look. 

"Uh, okay. There's a duffle bag  in my closet. My clothes are all in the dresser. Pants in bottom, socks and stuff in the third, shirts in second, pajamas in top." 

Tony grabs the duffle bag along with handfuls of clothes from each drawer, shoving them into the bag. "Er, my toothbrush and stuff are in the bathroom. There's a case for them in the cupboard above the sink. I can go get-" 

"No, I got it. Stay here." 

Peter sighs and watches Tony walk out of the room, flopping backwards onto the bed. He can't help but think this is some sort of sick joke. Some delusion induced by his pain meds. His life has been complete and utter shit the last few months, and all of the sudden this billionaire superhero comes and tries to adopt him? It's just too good to be true. Everything decent in Peter's life is too good to be true. 

"Alright, got your toothbrush and toothpaste. What else?" 

"My laptop? And uh, phone charger. I can get that, it's right here. And I'll need at least one pair of shoes. I think that's all." 

"Alright. Here, put one on. Not on the bad foot." Tony tosses a pair of shoes at Peter before sliding Peter's laptop into a laptop bag and putting it into the duffle bag. 

"Okay, Happy's waiting for us outside. I explained everything to him on the phone a minute ago. Let's go," Tony throws the strap of the duffle over his shoulder and then helps Peter off the bed, letting him lean against him like earlier. 

"You're not walking down the stairs." 

"Yeah? Well you're not carrying me." 

"You want me to get Happy to do it?" 

"Who the heck is Happy?" 

"One of my best friends. He's the one that's gonna drive you places and stuff. So either he's gonna carry you or I am." 

"Yeah, no thanks Mr. Stark. See you at the bottom!" Peter grips the railing of the stairs tightly and hops onto it, sliding down and leaving Tony gaping after him at the top of the stairs. 

When Tony makes it to the lobby, Peter is on the floor, a few tears tracking down his cheeks. "God damn, Peter. You're an idiot," Tony grumbles, bending down and lifting Peter into his arms.

"S-sorry. Shit that really hurt. I'm sorry."

Tony expects Peter to put up at least a small fight at being picked up, but at this point hes either too exhausted or in too much pain to do much more than let it happen. "Put your hood up. I don't want people to see you."

Peter does as he's told without protest, turning his face into Tony's chest. After a few minutes, Tony is laying Peter down in the backseat.

Rather than sitting in the front seat, Tony lifts Peter's head up slightly and sits down where it was previously laying before placing it in his lap. "Mr. Stark, I can sit up it's-"

"You're fine, Peter. You need to keep your ankle elevated after the stunt you pulled. Just stay here unless you're really that uncomfortable."  
Yes, Peter needs to keep his ankle elevated. But Tony is also worried that he might... dissappear if he let him go. It would be just Tony's luck if the universe is playing another cruel joke on him.

After a while, Peter settles into the position and drifts off, subconsciously wrapping both of his arms around Tony's right arm. It was odd, compared to how he had acted earlier, but maybe a small panic attack drained Peter of all energy to care. Tony understands what that's like. 

"It's good to have you back, Tony. We all missed you," Happy says after a while, glancing at his boss in the rear view mirror. 

"Good to be back."

"Should I tell someone to set up a room for him?"

"No, that's okay. He can sleep in my room for tonight."

"Are you sure? You know we have guest rooms and-"

"I'm sure, Happy. I want to be the one to set up his room, and I won't be in my room tonight anyways. Right, speaking of, we'll need to get some moving boxes and head back to the apartment later tonight."

"Okay, boss. I'll get those when we get back and meet you out front with the van."

"Sounds good." 

Happy parks the car and comes around to Tony's side, helping him get out of the car without disturbing Peter. "You need help with him?" 

"No, I got him. Thanks Happy. Hey, could you explain to the rest of the team what the situation is while I bring him up to bed?" 

Happy nods and walks off to do just that. Tony, as carefully as he can, pulls Peter out of the car and adjusts him in his arms with a small grunt of discomfort. He's strong, yeah, and Peter isn't that heavy, but this really kills his back. He's definitely not as young as he used to be. 

It's a bit hard getting Peter into the compound and up the elevator without bumping him on anything, but eventually, Tony has him settled down under the covers on his bed. 

"Friday?" Tony whispers while he carefully tucks the covers around Peter.

"Yes, Boss?" 

"Alert me if anything happens to the kid. Nightmares or anything irregular." 

"Yes boss. Anything else?" 

"No, that's all."

"Okay. Glad you're back, boss." 

Tony, with one last glance at Peter, leaves the room and goes to meet Happy out front so he can go pack up the rest of Peter's stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was super excited to write this chapter but i feel like it's kinda ehhhhh  
> im not a huge fan of it but i can't seem to make it any better :(
> 
> Anyways, they've met now!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter meets the team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT  
> go read the last chapter again. I edited it quite a bit and changed a lot of things because I was very unhappy with the direction of the story.

____________  
BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER READ THE NOTES ITS REALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY 

______

I wake up the next morning in an unfamiliar room. Not only that, but my ankle has been wrapped and a set of crutches are leaning against the end of the bed. My duffle bags sitting on the floor next to them. 

The first thing I want to do is change into my own comfortable clothes. To have something familiar close to me. 

I pull the duffle bag onto the bed next to me, changing into a pair of sweatpants and the first shirt I grab. I'd realize later that I definitely should have checked the logo on the shirt. 

I don't really need the crutches, thanks to my accelerated healing, but after a quick stroll around the room I decide to play it safe and use them. Plus, I'd like to avoid anyone carrying me today. 

Still half asleep, I wander out of the bedroom and down the hallway. When I round one of the many corners, I collide with someone's chest, almost falling backwards and onto the floor. 

"Hey, careful. You don't need another twisted ankle."

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit. This isn't real. This definitely isn't real. 

"You- You're Captain America," I stand there like an idiot and gape up at him - he's five inches taller than me. I have to look up- probably looking like Ned whenever he gets a new Lego set. 

He grins down at me, shrugging. "Just call me Steve. You must be Peter!" 

"You know who I am?" 

"Of course. Tony won't shut up about you!" 

We've barely been here 24 hours and Mr. Stark has already told the Avengers who I am? The Avengers know who I am? Holy shit. Oh holy shit I'm meeting Captain America for the first time and I haven't fixed my hair or brushed my teeth or put on proper clothes oh my god he must think I'm a slob. That's just my luck. Is this real? Is this a nightmare? Is this another delusion I'm having because of pain meds? 

"I just finished making breakfast. Do you wanna go get some and meet the rest of the team?" Steve says, interrupting my spiral of thoughts. 

"Uh, yeah. Sure, that'd be great." I regret saying it almost immediately. Yes I absolutely want food. I was starving. But meeting the rest of the group? Just meeting Mr.Stark sent me into an anxiety attack, could I handle meeting the rest of the group right now? 

Steve leads me through the compound, -gosh, it's big - finally walking into the common room after what feels like forever. When I hear the voices of the rest of the group, I stop. Steve must have realized that he can't hear my crutches behind him anymore, because he's back into the hallway, motioning for me to come forward. "C'mon, Peter! It'll be fine. What, you think they're gonna bite?"  
No, but I do think that they're gonna hate me. And I do think that I'll have a meltdown and freak them out. 

I take a deep breath and finally follow him into the common room.  Most of the team is squished together on or around the couch, emerged in an intense game of Mario Kart. The balloon battle, specifically. 

"Ah, great, Peter's up! C'mere, you can be on my team," Falcon says, pushing Antman off the couch. 

"Hey! That's cheating!" 

"Suck it up, tic tac."

"He shouldn't even be on your team anyways! You're destroying us!" 

"I called dibs!" 

"Guys! Maybe pause your game for a minute? Jeeze, did any of you even eat breakfast?" Steve interjects, grabbing Antmans controller and pausing it for them. 

Steve introduces me to the team, or, everyone that was there at least. I don't see Mr. Banner anywhere, which sucks, because he's the one I'm most looking forward to meeting. Thor isn't here either.

All of them tell me to call them by their first names, and some of them (Scott) even look embarrassed at being called by their last name. 

"Its uh- Its really nice to meet you all. Could I get some of that breakfast now? Sorry, that was rude. It just smells really good and I haven't eaten in a while." And it's kind of crowded in here and I need a breather for a few seconds. 

"Of course! You like eggs, right?" I nod at Steve and he quickly leads me into the kitchen, dishing me up a plate. He goes to hand it to me, and I awkwardly try to shift on my crutches to grab it. "Oh right, I forgot. I'll go set it out on the table. Sorry, Peter."

I follow Steve back out into the common room, thanking him profusely while he walks away. 

"Hey, can the rest of you idiots come get food too? The video game can wait." 

I let out a stifled laugh when Scott says "yes mother," earning me a glare from Steve that has no real malice behind it. (I hope) 

Soon enough, the whole table is filled with the Avengers, -plus me- and I'm squished between Natasha and Steve. 

"So, Peter, out of all of us, why is that pinhead your favourite?" Rhodey asks, pointing at Steve. 

"What? When did- I didn't- I never said he was my favourite?" 

Natasha lifts her hand and taps my chest gently. I look down, immediately flushing at the sight of my Captain America shirt. "I didn't- I didn't realize I picked this shirt! I, uh, I have at least one for all of you and uh, a few with all of you on it. I really didn't mean-" 

"Woah, kid, calm down. It was a joke! Although, I do have to say that I'm flattered," Steve grins at me, clapping my shoulder. I sink down in my seat, feeling a lot more than just embarrassed. 

As cool as it is to be with the Avengers, they're a bit much to handle all at once. More than "a bit." Especially after just waking up. It kind of seems like they keep getting closer and closer and louder and louder and I really need to get out of here quickly before I have another meltdown.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter goes to find Tony, and along that journey finds his new room as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the people telling me I need to change my writing style, screw off. You can tell me I need to stop changing povs because that's "not how real books are written" all you want, but that won't make me do it.  
> First of all, it's my story. Not yours. I can choose how I write it, even if it doesn't please everyone.  
> Second, this isn't a real book, if you didn't notice. It's a fanfiction. They're two different things.  
> And lastly, there are tons of books written where the pov changes every chapter. Sometimes even more frequently than that. Maybe if you picked up a real book instead of reading fanfiction all day you would know that. 
> 
> I'm sorry if that comes off harsh, but I'm tired of you guys telling me my writing style is wrong. It's MY writing style. Mine. I get to choose how I write.  
> I have deleted all of the comments pestering me about this, and I will continue to do so if they keep coming. 
> 
> That said, thank you to everyone who DOES enjoy my writing! I appreciate you so much more than you know! This is the first story I've written to get so much attention and the kudos and comments really keep me motivated to continue it!  
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter. It's lengthy. 2000 words.

________________________

"Ms.Romanoff- I mean, uh, Natasha? Where's Mr.Stark?" Peter asks quietly after the group moves on from him and begins discussing other topics.

"I think he's still setting up your room. Do you want to go find him?" 

"Would that be alright?" 

"Of course, паук. You don't have to ask, you live here now."

"Thank you. Do I need to rinse my plate off or put it in the sink or..." he trails off, unsure of how to continue. 

"Don't worry about it, I'll take it for you. You go find Tony."

Peter thanks her again, softly, and pushes his chair away from the table. Since the group was in such a heated debate about who knows what, they payed no attention to him grabbing the crutches and wandering out of the common room. 

He isn't exactly sure where he's going. The compound is really big, and more than once he finds himself back at the doorway of the common room. Eventually, he ends up in the room he woke up in. From there he follows the sound of voices. 

When the voices finally sound like they're close, Peter pushes open the door closest to him. Tony's in one of the corners of the room, stacking books on a bookcase. Peters books, to be specific. He's alone in the room, so Peter isn't quite sure what the second voice he heard was. Maybe he was on the phone? 

"Mr. Stark?" 

"Oh, kid! I'm glad you're here. Wait, hold on, why are you here? I told Steve to bring you down to get breakfast." 

"I got breakfast. Being with the group was a bit overwhelming so Ms.Roman- Natasha said I could come find you." 

"Okay, perfect. Sit down, rest your ankle for a bit. Now, what do you think?" 

"Think of what?" 

Tony gapes at Peter for a second and then let's out a small laugh, stepping down from the stepstool he's standing on. For one of the smartest kids in school, Peter could be a bit...slow to catch on. "Your room, doofus. What do you think?" 

Peter finally takes a moment to absorb the whole room. It's ... perfect. It's the room any teenage boy would want.

In one corner, there's a television, a couple of beanbags, and basically every gaming consol you can think of. There's even a few Lego sets stacked up by the TV. On the opposite side of the room, there's a very nice desk with all of Peter's school work stacked neatly on top of it. All of his clothes had been hug up in the closet along with some new outfits, and the closet's basically as big as his entire bedroom back at the apartment. There's a bookshelf filled to the brim with Peter's books and textbooks, plus some more that Tony must have brought in. And the bed Peter's currently sitting on is huge. Like, really really huge.  
It's probably just a king sized, actually, but compared to the twin he's used to sleeping on, it's basically his own private island. 

When Peter finally brings his attention back to Tony, there are tears streaming down his face. "Peter? Kid, what's wrong?" Tony goes to move towards Peter, but Peter moves away from him frantically. 

"This- This is- It's not- This isn't right!" Peter let's out between sobs, tugging on his hair. Tony isn't quite sure what to do to help. He wants to help, of course, he just feels like everything he'll try will be wrong. He has dealt with panic attacks before, but not as bad as Peter, and he never learned how to deal with them. He usually just waited until they passed. 

"Friday? What am I supposed to do?" 

"Ask him what he needs. If he can not reply, set something to write with in front of him. He can choose whether he wants to use it or not. Try to give him some space unless he tells you otherwise. Be predictable, try not to surprise him at all. That is all I'm able to find in my data base, sir." 

"Peter? Kid, what do you need me to do?" 

"Water. Water, please. Water," Peter wheezes, reaching behind him blindly until his fingers curl around the headboard. Tony nods and quickly walks out of the room, coming back barely forty five seconds later with a full glass of water. 

"I'm going to put it right here on the stand next to you, okay?" Tony says as softly as he can, but still loud enough for Peter to hear him through his heaving sobs. Peter fumbles for the glass, spilling half of it down his chin and the front of his shirt while he greedily gulps it down. 

"Sir, can I try something?" Friday interjects, having downloaded more information on panic attacks from Google. 

"Anything that'll help, Friday." 

"Boss, breath in for four seconds. Peter, match his breathing. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Breath out for eight seconds. Repeat that. That's it, Peter, match with Tony." 

It only takes about five minutes for Peter to get his breathing mostly back on track. It isn't quite normal yet, but it's close. Tony gets him another cup of water, which he drinks in just a few gulps. 

When Tony thinks that Peter is finally steady enough to talk, he sits down on the end of the bed. "Do you want to talk about what the hell just happened?" 

"Er, I guess. Can I get a new shirt though? This one, is, well," Peter motions to the giant wet spot. 

"Yeah, of course. Just a second." Tony walks into the closet and emerges a few moments later with Peter's flashiest Ironman t-shirt. 

When Peter sees it, his face turns a deep shade of red. "You- You chose that one on purpose," he grumbles, but tugs the shirt over his head nonetheless. 

"I did no such thing. Now, what just happened?" 

"Its just that- It's just...This isn't- It's not fair. None of this is fair. Why do I get to have all of this cool stuff when there are still kids suffering out there? Worse than I was? Why do I get the cool life while my friends stay in their crappy apartments? Why do I get to quit my jobs when there are so many other kids that have to work to provide for their family? And why- Why do I get all of this when all of the people that I love are in fucking graves? It's just- I don't get why I get all of this and no one else does."

Tony stares at Peter silently for a few minutes, trying to process everything that was just said. "I don't know if this is going to help. I don't even know if you want my answer. But I'm going to try, so, uh just listen, okay? 

"You get all of this because the universe thought that you were suffering the most. That you were in need of the most help. We're going to make sure that all of those other kids get help too, but for now, we're focusing on you. You need this the most. Stop worrying about everyone else in the world and take just one minute to think about yourself, kid. You deserve to have some good things in your life. And your Aunt would have wanted this Peter. I didn't know her, I never met her, but I'm pretty sure that any good caretaker would want nothing but the best for their child, even when they're not there to provide it. She always just wanted you to be happy, right?"

Peter doesn't answer. He sits there staring at his hands for a few minutes, pulling at a loose thread on his pants. 

"Mr. Stark, can-" 

"Stop calling me Mr.Stark. Please. And stop calling me sir."

"What am I supposed to call you??" 

"I don't know... just Tony, for now." 

"Er, okay. Uh, Tony, can I, uhm, can I hug you?" Peter asks, his voice going quiet. Tony's a bit taken back by the question. He knows Peter likes hugs, but based on how he had been acting, Tony assumed he wouldn't want to hug him. At least, not yet. Almost as soon as Tony nods, Peter is across the bed and wrapping his arms tightly around him. He tucks his face into Tony's neck, taking a few shaky breaths.

Tony has never really been one for physical affection. He's never had anyone to hug so he just... never has. Yesterday, when he was overcome with the emotion of finally being able to touch Peter, it was easy. He wasn't thinking about it. But now...it's different. He isn't sure why it's different, it just is.  
But he hugs Peter back anyways, cradling the back of his head with his hand. 

Eventually, Peter pulls away, a small smile on his face. It's slightly heartbreaking to see, actually. He just looks so broken, his eyes and face red, but still trying so hard to smile. 

"I really do like the room, Mr.Stark. It's amazing. Tony, sorry."

"I'm glad, Kid. Do you want to go back to the team now?" 

"Er, is it okay if I don't? It's just a bit... much to handle all at once."

"Of course, that's perfectly fine. Make sure to come out eventually to get lunch and then I'll come get you when dinners ready."

"You already have this parenting thing down!" Peter jokes, grinning up at Tony, who's now walking towards the door. "But uh, seriously, thank you. For everything." 

Tony smiles, "I'll see you at dinner," he says in lieu of saying anything along the lines of your welcome. 

"Wait! Hold on, I have another question," Peter shouts after Tony. Tony walks back into the bedroom and leans against the door frame, waiting for Peter to continue. 

"What did you, uh, tell all of them? Why are they so cool with me being here? Shouldn't they be confused? Or at least treating me like a stranger instead of someone they've known forever? And uh, how much do they know? About me."

"I told them what I told you. Everything about the soulmate situation. I told them you had a bit of a rough life, but nothing personal. Nothing to invade your privacy. Anything you want them to know you're allowed to tell them yourself." Tony is careful to leave out the part where he threatened all of the team, making sure they understood how they were supposed to treat Peter. 

"Oh. Uh, okay. Thanks, Mr. Stark. I mean, uh, Tony! Sorry." 

"Stop apologizing for nothing. Get lunch soon." With that, Tony disappears. 

Peter collapses backwards onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and burying his face in it. He still just feels.... wrong. Wrong about all of this. It's some deep gut feeling that he can't describe, but it just, it doesn't sit right. Something about this is wrong. Or, it feels wrong to him, at least. 

But maybe he's over analyzing. He tends to over analyze a lot of things; to the point of being unable to sleep or eat or even turn the lights off because he feels so...wrong. Anxious. 

Maybe he should ask someone about that. Anxiety. Figure out if he has it. It would explain a lot. His nervous fidgets and habits. Freaking out over nothing. All of his recent panic attacks. And the not so recent ones. Maybe he'll ask Tony tomorrow. Or a different day, when he can bring himself to trust his new...well, Peter isn't sure what to call him yet. It doesn't feel right to call him his dad. Or parental figure, since he hasn't even known him a full two days. 

But yeah, maybe eventually, when he gets more used to whatever this is, this life, he'll ask Tony about it. Ask how to deal with it or ask him to get Peter someone that will check out his brain and see if theres something else going on. 

Eventually. Someday. But not now. Now all he wants to do is return Ned's hundreds of voicemails asking about his ankle and why he wasn't at school today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried putting a very tiny bit of Russian in there from nat, but i dont speak anything other than English so i had to use Google translate. i hope it worked! if it didn't and it gets translated to something weird, it was supposed to say "spider" or "red spider" (i dont actually remember. i wrote the chapter days ago.)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes Peter up from a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so much fun to write 🥺  
> it's kinda lengthy too

"Peter, hey, Peter. Kid, wake up," as soon as Tony reaches out to touch him, Peter shoots up and grabs Tony's wrist, punching him in the gut.

"Hey, shit, ow. It's just me." Tony stands still until Peter recognizes him and lets go of his wrist, then he sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry, Mr.Stark," Peter says groggily, still waking up. "Why're you 'n here?" Peters words are slightly slurred as he sits back against his headboard, forcefully rubbing at his eyes.

Tony decides not to chastise Peter for calling him "Mr.Stark," figuring it's because he had just woken up. "You had a nightmare," he says instead.

"I know. Doesn't 'splain why you're 'n here."

"Friday told me you were having trouble breathing. I wanted to check on you, that's all." He wanted to make sure Peter knew he could talk to him. He wanted to make sure Peter knew he was safe and in his own room. He wanted to make sure Peter knew he wasn't alone.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't need to lie to me, Peter."

"I'm really fine, Mr.Stark."

"Hey, what did I tell you?"

"Don't call you Mr. Stark. Sorry," Peter grumbles, picking up his pillow and holding it to his chest.

"And?"

"And..." Peter trails off, not sure what Tony wants him to say. He's told Peter loads of things in the six days he's been here.

"And you're not alone anymore. You have people to talk to. People that are willing to listen." Tony wants to reach out. Wants to gently tug the pillow away from Peter and let Peter hug him instead. But Peter had only really hugged him a few times, and he made sure he asked every time before he did. He isn't comfortable enough to just hug anyone at the compound yet.

Peter, in lieu of replying, stares down at his lap and plays with a loose thread on his pajama pants.

"Okay, fine, come on." Tony stands up and holds a hand out for Peter, which Peter stares at without moving. "Up. Let's go," Tony says again, and this time Peter allows Tony to pull him out of bed.

"Where?"

"You'll see. Follow me." Peter drops Tony's hand as soon as he's standing and trails after him. Tony takes all sorts of twists and turns throughout the compound that leave Peter's head spinning. He knows the compound is big, but Tony is taking him through parts of it that he hasn't even seen yet.

"Come onnnn tell me please," Peter whines, jogging lightly to catch up with Tony after getting distracted by a painting hanging on the wall.

"Nope. It's a surprise."

"Pretty please?"

"If you're pouting at me right now, it's not going to work," because he's not going to look. "You'll see when we get there."

"Ugh, fine. You're so lame."

Tony gasps, dramatically clutching at his chest. "Me?! Lame? How dare you! I guess you don't want to see the coolest secret room in the compound that not even Steve has been in."

"Wait hold on no no no no I didn't say that! I take it back! Mr. Stark please take me to the secret room!" Peter pleads, tugging on Tony's arm for dramatic affect but quickly pulling away when he realizes what he's doing.

"Tell me I'm the most awesome Avenger first!"

"God, fine! You're the most awesome Avenger. Now please please please take me to the secret room! Wait, is it actually a secret room? With a hidden door and stuff?"

"It's not actually a secret room, I just wanted you to call me the most awesome Avenger. Even though your Ironman pajama bottoms clearly show that without you having to say it. But, I wasn't lying when I said not even Steve has been in the room. No one is allowed in except for me," Tony says and stops abruptly.

"And me?" Peter ignores the comment about his pajama pants. They're comfortable, okay? He's not gonna stop wearing them just because he knows the real Ironman.

"And you. C'mere, I'll show you how to get in."

Peter finally looks up at the door in front of them, his mouth falling open. Have you ever watched or read A Series Of Unfortunate Events? If you have, like Peter has, you may remember the door leading into Uncle Monty's reptile sanctuary. A large door completely covered with different intricate locks.

Imagine that door, except every lock is electronic. Now, remember that on that door, there was a single knob. All you had to do to enter the room was turn that knob. You didn't even have to look at the other locks.

Peter is pretty sure Tony took inspiration from that door. "Can I guess how to get in before you show me?" Peter asks, finally moving forward and standing next to Tony in front of the door.

"I don't see why not. I don't think- Oh, well, nevermind." Tony watches Peter bend down and press a single button towards the bottom of the door. "How'd you know how to do that?" he asks, trying hard not to pout. This door took him ages to design.

"This is the same exact concept they used in a book series. And a movie. And TV series. Are you sure no one else has been in here before, because it's not that hard to get in," Peter says matter of factly, stepping back so Tony can swing the door open.

"Yes, I'm sure! God, do you want to see it or not?!" Tony swings the door open, exasperated.

"Holy shit," Peter says, taking a step into the room. Everything is covered in stars. Every wall, the floor, the ceiling, everything. Someone has painted the milky-way on the ceiling with glow in the dark paint, and there are even huge glowing planets hanging from the ceiling and stuck to walls.

"Mr.Stark, this...this is amazing," Peter says softly, slowly sinking to the floor and laying down on his back. Tony smiles and sits down in an armchair in the corner of the room, reclining so he can stare at the ceiling as well.

"This is where I come when I need some peace and quiet. I used to come here when I had nightmares too."

"Is that why you brought me here? Because of my nightmares?"

"Yeah."

The two of them sit in silence for a while after that, gazing up at the ceiling.

"It was me, you know. That kid at the expo," Peter says softly to break the silence.

"What?"

"When the robots and stuff were trying to kill everyone? I was the kid trying to attack one of them. Do you remember?"

"Yeah, of course I remember. Shit, that was you? You could have died!" Tony exclaims, waving his hands around to get his point across.

"I didn't, though. You didn't let it kill me."

Tony puts his footstool down and slides onto the floor, dragging his hands down his face. "But what if I wasn't there?"

"You were."

"God, even as a kid you were trying to save everyone," Tony says, barely able to wrap his head around it. Peter almost died because of him. Because of the mess he made.

Peter wants to say something more. Something to make sure Tony knows that he's alive because of him, not that he almost died because of him. Because it wasn't Tony's fault. He thinks it is, but Peter knows it's not. But he can't think of a single thing he can say that would help, so he says nothing.

He says nothing, until he can't stand the sound of silence anymore. He's not used to silence. He always has music playing or he's listening to the sounds of the busy city outside of his apartment. So being in this completely silent room is driving him totally insane.

So, to break the silence once again, he says the only thing he can think of. "I got trapped under a building. That's what my nightmares are about, usually. I was fighting this guy, The Vulture. He was actually my prom dates dad, but that's a different story. He was trying to steal stuff, weapons, from a plane. Your plane, now that I think of it. So I was fighting him, and he made a building collapse ontop of me. I couldn't really move and I thought I was gonna die there. I didn't, obviously. But yeah, that's what my nightmares are usually about. Dying under the building."

"Jesus christ, Kid. This is a lot of information to process in one night," Tony grumbles, propping his elbows up on his knees and burying his face in his hands.

"You got trapped under a building trying to stop someone from stealing from me?"

"Well, actually I was originally just trying to stop him from making a bunch of illegal weapons. It really had nothing to do with you."

"But the plane was mine. So when all of that happened, you were trying to stop him from using my technology to make weapons."

"No! I mean, yes. But no. You make it sound like it's your fault. It's not- it wasn't your fault, Mr.Stark."

"God, Peter, stop calling me that. Seriously." It's all Tony can think to say. He just found out Peter almost died _twice_ because of him. Well, kind of because of him. That's a lot to process in just a few hours. But focusing on something small, something like Peter calling him Mr.Stark, that takes his mind off it, if only for a few moments.

"Sorry!"

"I just don't get it. You call everyone else by their first names, why can't you do the same with me?"

"I don't know! It's just, it's different with you. You're different."

" _How_?"

"Because, well, you just are! I don't know how to explain it. If I call you by your first name, this all becomes more real. I don't know. I don't know. It's stupid. I don't know," Peter throws his head backwards, bumping it against the wall harshly. He does it again, and then slumps forward to rest his forehead on his knees.

"Don't you want it to be real?" Tonys voice is soft now. He sounds hurt at Peter's response. And, well, he is. Does Peter not want this?

"It's not that. I do want- I don't know! I just don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know!" Peter lets out a frustrated sound, somewhere between a strangled scream and a sob, tangling his hands in his hair.

Tony frowns deeply, hesitantly reaching out to place a hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter doesn't flinch away. He tenses at the touch, but at the same time leans into it. Almost like he wants it but doesn't _want_ to want it.

"Mr.Stark, Tony, it's just- it's so much. It's too much. There's so much to think about I can't- I can't handle it all!" Tears are steaming down Peter's face and he reaches to scrub them away angrily. He's tired of crying. He's tired of nightmares. He's tired of panic attacks. He's tired of all of this.  "I just want Aunt May back!" She always knew what to do. She always knew how to help.

Tony reaches and gently pulls Peter into his side, extremely happy when Peter allows him to do so. He holds Peter for who knows how long, rubbing small circles on his shoulders. It's what Steve does to calm him down whenever he freaks out, and it seems to help Peter as well.

Eventually, Peter unwraps his arms from where they're holding his knees to his chest and wraps them around Tony instead. Tony smiles sympathetically and squeezes Peter softly, resting his chin on top of Peter's head.  
"You're gonna be okay, Kid. It's all gonna be okay," he whispers.

And they sit there, holding eachother, until Peter finally exhausts himself and falls asleep, leaving Tony to carry him back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapters a fluffy one, don't worry. i won't make EVERY chapter angsty.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gives Peter his new suit

_________________________

"Hey, Friday, tell Peter to come down to the lab."

"Right away boss."

Ten minutes later, Peter is bolting through the door of the lab. "I'm here."

"Jesus kid, did you run the whole way?"

"No. What's up?" Of course he ran. In the nine days Peter's been here, Tony has only allowed him in the lab once.

"Come here, I have something for you."

Peter nods and walks across the lab, sliding onto the desk next to Tony. Tony swats at him, his silent way of scolding him for sitting on things that aren't meant to be sat on. He's had to do that a lot. Peter rolls his eyes and hops off the desk, shifting back and forth on his feet while Tony digs around in a bin. He makes a few small adjustments on whatever it is he wants to give Peter, making sure his body is blocking Peter's view of the object.

"Okay, okay, close your eyes." Tony says, turning around and holding the item behind his back.

"Why? I can't see it anyways so just bring it out."

"Not until you close your eyes!"

Peter rolls his eyes and lets out an exaggerated groan, but closes his eyes nonetheless.

"Okay okay, open them."

Peter does, his mouth immediately falling open. "Is this- Is it for me?" He asks softly, taking it away from Tony slowly.

"No, it's for Thor. Yes it's for you, doofus," Tony grins, watching Peter turn it over in his hands and examine it.

"You made me a new suit?"

"Yeah, I did. You wanna put it on?"

Peter nods eagerly and Tony motions to a corner of the lab where he can get changed out of sight. Peter runs over, stumbling a few times over boxes and table legs.

"MR. STARK- TONY ITS TALKING TO ME!" Peter shouts from the corner before stepping into Tony's view.

"That's your AI. She's gonna help you learn how to use the settings on your suit," Tony explains, leaning against the table behind him while Peter examines himself in the mirror.

"What's her name?"

"I dunno, that's up to you."

"Okay suit lady, I'm gonna name you... May."

Tony smiles softly, letting Peter talk to his suit for a few minutes. "Hey, Pete, you wanna try some of those new suit settings?"

"In here? I'll probably break something, I don't really trust myself to-"

"No, not in here. The rest of the team is in the training room and there happens to be a spot in there for you."

"You mean- You're saying- I get to train with the Avengers?!" Peter gasps, letting his mask come away from his face and disappear into the suit.

"Yeah, c'mon," Tony starts walking out of the room and Peter follows close behind. Tony can hear him talking in a low voice to his AI, May.

"I have _how many_ webbing options?? Really? Awesome! I have a drone!? How do I get it to work?" Peter gently taps the spider on his chest, gasping when it flies out of his suit and hovers in front of him. "How do I get it back? That's wicked. What else do I have? Wings?! Even if they're just for gliding that's so cool!"

Peter looks up when he hears Tony open the door to the training room, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. He hasn't been allowed in the training room before, so this will be his first time.

When the two of them step into the room, a chorus of "hey Peter" rings out. Peter grins and waves at the group, bringing his mask up again. As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, Peter's off, his webs shooting up towards the ceiling.

"Hey, Peter! Wait just a second!" Tony shouts after him, smiling. Peter swings around on the rafters for a minute and then jumps down to land in front of Tony.

"Tell May to initiate the training sequence," Tony says, and Peter does, quietly. After a few seconds, a bunch of tall structures come out of the floor and wall in the far right corner of the room where none of the Avengers are training.  
Peters back is to it, so Tony makes a small motion towards it with his head to get Peter to turn around.

"Woah! I get my own training section!? That's wicked!" Peter swings off towards it, whooping and laughing the whole way. Tonys smile turns into a large grin while he watches Peter get comfortable in the suit that he designed.

He talks in low tones to his AI, so Tony can't hear them from his position across the room, but he can occasionally hear Peter yell out how awesome a feature is.

Tony only stops watching Peter when Steve comes up to him, waving a hand in front of his face. "Hey, Tony, are we going to get to training or not?"

"Oh, right, sorry. Yeah let's go," Tony tears his eyes away from Peter and follows Steve to where the rest of the team is talking.

Tony never really gets into the training, constantly looking over his shoulder to see how Peter is doing. He takes quite a few blows because of this, along with some light joking from the team.

When Peter finally let's his mask down and starts swinging around without it, it's hard to look away. He just looks so incredibly happy, and that's not something anyone gets to see often.

"He's doing better, isn't he?" Natasha asks, coming up behind Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulder.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think he is," Tony says, letting out a small breath. He really believes it, too. He really does think that Peter might be getting better. It's been a few days since Peter has had a meltdown, and even the nightmares have been coming less frequently. Tony wants to believe it's because of that night in the space room, wants to think that he helped in some way, but he knows that there's probably something else going on. He doesn't want to get a big head and assume he's the one making Peter get better.

But Peter thinks the opposite. He thinks that it definitely was because of that night in the space room. He had felt safe enough to actually talk about his nightmares, and he thinks that's whats helping.

"You're doing a good job with him, Tony. I think he's going to be alright."

"Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter but way less angsty than the rest


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is invited to play Mario kart

__________________________

"Hey Peter, you wanna come play Mario Kart? We have an open spot!" Bucky shouts after Peter when he passes through the common room to get to the kitchen.

"You two gonna stop taking up the whole couch so I can sit down?" Peter shouts back, opening the fridge and digging through it.

"Absolutely not, we have seniority, we get to sit on the couch. You're like ten, you get the floor," Steve jumps in. Bucky grins down at him, tightening his arms around his waist. Bucky and Steve got matched as soulmates when they were sixteen and have been pretty much inseparable since. Well, except for when Bucky was brainwashed and Steve was frozen for seventy years, but otherwise...

"I'm not ten!"

"You look ten!"

"Ugh, whatever. At least I'm not a hundred. I'll play after I eat but I'm not sitting on the floor. I can't stay for long though, I need to finish my online classes for the day." Peter comes back into the room with a sandwich in hand, plopping onto the couch. Steve barely has time to move his feet before Peter sits down, almost being sat on. - Just so everyone knows, Peter most definitely will not end up finishing those classes-

"Hey Scott!" Peter says through a mouthful of sandwich, waving at Scott who has been silent since Peter entered the room.

"Ha! Fuck you, Steve, he said my name! And uh, hi Peter." Scott throws a pillow across the room at Steve, who ducks, and the pillow hits Bucky square in the face instead.

"Screw you, Lang!" Bucky shouts and throws the pillow back at Scott, missing him by just a few centimeters.

"You missed!"

"Did I? You want me to use the metal arm next time, asshole?"

"What am I missing here?" Peter cuts in, swallowing the last bite of his sandwich.

"Steve jinxed Scott like nine hours ago. No one would say his name," Sam says, walking into the room and shoving Steves feet fully off the couch before sitting down between him and Peter. "At least I assume that's what we're talking about judging by the looks on all their faces. What's up?"

"Well we were _about_ to play Mario Kart, but now we have one player too many," Scott says.

"Eh I'm not sticking around for long, I'm going to meet an old friend for lunch in a bit. Go ahead and play."

"An old friend, huh?" Scott wiggles his eyebrows at Sam, who replies eloquently with a middle finger in Scott's direction.

"Yes, a _friend._ Play your stupid game."

Scott stands and sets the game up, tossing wii remotes to everyone that would be playing.

"Peter, why the hell are you playing as Dry Bowser? Doesn't he suck?" Bucky asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No, actually. He gets you the most speed. Here, look." Peter quickly chooses his kart and then presses plus on the Wii Remote, the statistics for his character coming up. "See? Max speed. Well, almost max speed. Ninety-nine point five percent max speed. I've done research, there's no way to get it a hundred percent."

Scott, Steve, and Bucky all share a look and then look back at Peter, seemingly shocked. Peter just shrugs, waiting for Scott to start the race. The heavier characters give you the most speed but are a bit harder to control. It's just basic physics, really.

~

"Hey Buck?" Steve says quietly after they've all gotten tired of playing.

"Hmm?"

"Did we just get our asses kicked by a ten year old?"

"I'm sixteen!" Peter protests, crossing his arms.

"I think we did."

"Hey Peter? Next time we do a balloon battle, you're on my team," Scott says, cracking his knuckles and shaking out his hands. They had been playing for a while and his thumbs were really starting to cramp up.

"No way! No offense, man, but you kinda suck a this. You got eighth place everytime! Even the bots beat you!" Peter stands up to collect everyone's wii remotes, placing them in one of the bins underneath the TV stand.

"That's why I need you on my team! Good to balance out the bad!"

"Nope. If anything I'd be with Bucky or Sam. They're clearly the good ones in this place."

"No way, kid. I've got dibs on Bucky. You can have Sam," Steve leans up and presses a light kiss to Bucky's jaw, earning a loud chorus of gags from Peter and Scott.

"Oh shut up you two. Don't you have a wife, Scott?" Steve asks, capturing Bucky in a real kiss this time just to get a reaction out of the other two.

"Yeah but we're not gross like you two," Scott says, making an overly exaggerated disgusted expression. Peter laughs at that, flopping back onto the couch.

"Hey guys, I'm making dinner so don't go and buy pizza or anything!" Tony shouts over their fake argument as he walks through the common room on his way into the kitchen.

"I'll help!" Peter says quickly, hopping off of the couch and trailing after Tony.

"Hey Kid. You having fun with those boneheads?" Tony asks, smiling over his shoulder at Peter. He washes his hands and then moves away from the sink so Peter can do the same, pulling ingredients out of cupboards for dinner.

"Yeah! I just COMPLETELY DESTROYED them at Mario Kart by using basic physics, so that was fun. What're we making?" Peter yells part of this, making sure the three boys in the common room can hear. Judging by the loud "hey" and "no you didn't" that follow, they probably heard.

"Spaghetti. What physics could possibly be used in Mario Kart? It's a video game."

Peter goes on to explain how each character and kart affects your speed, completely oblivious to the fond looks Tony keeps shooting in his direction.

"So yeah, basically, if they were smart they could have beat me. I'm not even that good at the game, I just know how to choose the right stuff," Peter finishes, finally looking over at Tony. "What're you looking at me like that for?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. You're just a pretty smart kid, that's all." Tony tosses the bag of frozen meatballs to Peter and then pours the spaghetti noodles into a pot of boiling water.

"Well duh. I didn't realize that wasn't common knowledge around here. I've been here for what, two weeks, and you guys are just now realizing this?" Peter jokes, bumping his shoulder against Tonys. He quickly tears open the bag of meatballs, dumping them into a pan and skimming over the instructions on the back of the bag.

Tony scoffs and gently smacks Peter upside the head. "Usually geniuses don't burn their meatballs because they're so busy boasting about how smart they are."

"Shit! What do I do?? How do I fix it?" Peter asks in a panic, his eyes wide.

"Peter...You haven't even- You didn't-" Tony let's out a loud laugh and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Kid, I was joking. You haven't even turned the stove on yet."

"I- You- But- I-" Peter cuts himself off with a small groan, hiding his face in his hands. "Not cool, man. Not cool."

Tony tries to contain his laughter, failing miserably. Peter moves his hands away from his face, trying his best to glare at Tony, but it's hard for Tony to take him seriously when his face is beet red.

"Cook the meatballs, Spiderman. Otherwise it'll just be noodles and sauce and no one wants that," Tony says once he's able to stifle his laughter, turning the stove on for Peter.

"Well now I'm scared I'm going to burn them!"

"Use your extensive knowledge of physics, Pete!" Steve yells from the common room, followed by loud laughter from Bucky and Scott.

"Who all is gonna be here for dinner anyways?" Peter asks, not taking his eyes off the meatballs for fear of actually burning them.

"Us, the idiots out there, and Rhodey," Tony answers, leaning against the counter behind him while the noodles cook.

"Is this gonna be enough for everyone? I feel like I could eat half of this by myself."

"If we need more food we'll order pizza or takeout or something."

"That sounds good. Man, I'm starving."

Tony hums in response and starts digging through cupboards. He emerges from the pantry a few moments later, throwing a bag of chips at the back of Peter's head, which Peter catches easily.

"Eat those, whiney baby."

"Thanks." Peter ignores the playful jab, opening the small chip bag and pouring a quarter of it into his mouth. "Mmm these are really good, thanks Tony."  
Tony nods, stirring the pasta a bit. Peter has finally gotten out of the habit of calling Tony "Mr. Stark." It only took... over a week and a half.

They finish dinner within the next ten minutes and everyone sits down at the table to eat. Rhodey shows up a few minutes late from physical therapy, scooping the last of the spaghetti into his bowl.

Tony makes Steve order three pizzas, which arrive way faster than Peter expects, considering they're basically in the middle of nowhere.

When the pizzas get there, everyone settles down in the common room with a few slices, and Rhodey puts on The Godfather.

By the end of the night, the pizza is gone, Steve and Bucky are asleep in a tangled mess on the couch, Peter is passed out on the floor, Scott is back at his own house with his family, and Tony and Rhodey are having a quiet conversation at the dining table.

Peter is finally content, and everyone's just a bit happier than they were two weeks ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, Scott and Hope are married. They have Cassie and a younger son.
> 
> AHHH HI so someone pointed out an inconsistency in the story. In multiple chapters, I state that Peter is 16. Sometimes I say he's 17, though.  
> He's supposed to be 16!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has a mission. Peter isn't invited.

____________________________

"Hey, what's going on?" Peter asks when he steps into the common room, seeing everyone suited up and gathered around the couch with grim looks on their faces. "Is there a mission?"

No one answers him, too focused on whatever their discussion is. "Hellooo? Anyone gonna pay attention to me?"  
Steve glances up at him and then nudges Tony, who sighs and stands up, grabbing Peter's arm gently and leading him out of the common room.

"You can't be in here right now, Kid."

"Why? Is there a mission? I can help!"

"No you can't. You have to stay here."

"Why? Why can't I help? You know I'm ready! I've been training almost everyday with you guys!"

"This isn't a battle you need to fight. Stick to the whole Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman thing for now, okay?"

"You don't even let me go out as spiderman anymore, Tony! I've been begging to since I got here! You're so worried about me getting hurt that you won't even let me try to prove that I can do it!"

"Kid, cmon..." Tony's trying to calm Peter down, trying to keep his voice soft. He doesn't want to yell at him. 

"No! I want to help, Tony. I want to fight whatever this is. I'm ready!" Peter's shouting now, waving his arms around to get his point across. 

"Peter, please don't do this. We can talk about it when I get back, okay?" 

"I don't want to talk about it when you get back, I want to go with you!"

"You can't go with us!" Tony finally breaks, shouting right back at Peter. He just can't deal with this right now. He needs to plan this huge mission, but instead he's arguing with a stupid teenager that thinks he can single handedly save the world. 

"Why not?!"

"Because I said so!"

"That's not an answer!

"Yes it is. I'm your gaurdian now, Kid. This is my job. It is my responsibility to make sure you're safe and happy. So when I tell you that you can't do something, you have to listen!"

"Well you're doing a pretty shitty job at the keeping me happy part! I wish I never agreed to come with you!" Peter fumes, walking past Tony and bumping into his shoulder roughly on his way down the hall. He just wants to help. He's ready. He knows he is. He's been training for almost a week! Yeah, it's not that long, but he also used to go out every night to fight crime. That counts as training too. 

He knows he can do it. He knows he's able to do just as much as everyone else on the team, even if Tony can't see that. When he trained with Bucky and Sam, he beat both of them! He caught Buckys metal arm and webbed up Sam's wings and they were both on the floor in just a few minutes.  
When he trained with Steve, he took his shield! He wound him up with his webs no problem.  
When he trained with Scott, he had him pinned to the wall within thirty seconds.  
Every single one of them had promised they weren't going easy on him, so he knows he's ready to take on something bigger. He doesn't know why Tony can't see that. 

Tony frowns deeply, watching Peter storm down the hallway. He doesn't want Peter to get hurt, that's all. He already told Peter that he'd be allowed to go out as spiderman again as soon as Tony can program his AI to alert him when Peter gets hurt. It's not his fault Peter refused to give him the suit to let him do that. 

He's already watched Peter get hurt and suffer so much, and now he's able to prevent it. It's his job to prevent it. Peter just won't let him. And he gets it. He understands. Peter wants to save the world. Peter wants to be useful. He doesn't want to sit around and let everyone else do the heavy lifting. Tony can completely understand that, but he can't let it happen. Not yet. He needs to make sure Peter is actually ready. He needs to make sure absolutely no harm will come to his kid. 

He watched Peter train with everyone. He knows everyone was going easy on him. No one on the team wants to hurt the kid. If Steve wanted Peter dead or pinned to the floor, he would have in about two seconds. If Bucky really wanted to punch him with the metal arm, he would have. If Scott- Well, maybe Scott wasn't going easy. It's hard to tell with him. But the point is, Peter isn't ready.

Tony stands there and stares down the hallway long after Peter is gone. He doesn't look away until Scott is behind him, gripping his shoulder. "He's a teenager, Tony. All teenagers go through this whole thing. Hating their parents. Hating everyone. Thinking they're ready for things they aren't really ready for. He'll come around, okay? Take it from me, I've had my fair share of bratty teens." 

Tony can't bring himself to reply, but follows Scott back into the common room. He's distracted during the planning. He doesn't even know what his part in the plan is. He figures he'll just wing it like he normally does. 

"Stark, are you okay to do this? Do you need to stay back and talk to Peter?" Steve asks after the rest of the team has shuffled into the elevator, leaving Tony on the couch staring at his hands and Steve standing over him. 

"What? No, I'm fine. Let's go." 

"Tony, if you go out there this distracted you're going to get yourself killed. Go talk to your kid." 

"He can wait. It's fine. He doesn't want to talk to me anyways. The rest of the team is probably already on the jet waiting for us." Tony moves to get off the couch, but Steve lightly pushes him back down. 

"You're not going with us. You clearly don't even know what your part is, since you weren't paying attention to the briefing at all." 

"Steve I-" 

"No. Stay here. Talk to Peter. The longer you put it off, the worse it's going to get." 

"But-" 

"You're staying." 

"Fine!" 

"See, now you understand how Peter's feeling. So go talk to him." With that, Steve half-jogs over to the elevator, going to meet the rest of the team on the jet. 

Tony groans and props his elbows up on his knees, burying his face in his hands. He knows exactly how Peter feels. He already did, even before Steve's whole lecture. But that's not going to make him change his mind. And that doesn't make what Peter said hurt any less. 

He stays like that for a few minutes before he gets up to go find Peter. He looks in Peter's room first, but he's not there. 

The room has been completely torn up. Peters desk chair has been thrown to the opposite side of the room, two of the legs broken off of it and laying in different parts of the room. All of the papers on his desk have been scattered across the room, some crumpled up or torn. The bed is in a complete state of disarray, the sheets pulled halfway off and the pillows laying in the corner behind the door. The only place that has been untouched is the small gaming corner. 

Though the first thing Tony sees is not the destroyed homework or even the broken chair. The first thing he sees is the note addressed to him laying on Peters bed, splotched and smudged with what Tony would have to assume are tears. 

Mr Stark  
im sorry. im so sorry. i didnt mean it. i really didnt. im so sorry. please dont hate me. i dont mean it. please. im sorry. you probably hate me now. im sorry. ill go back if you want me to. im sorry. 

Tony sits down on the edge of Peter's destroyed bed, a few tears tracking down his cheeks as he reads and rereads the note. Everything about it is wrong.

First, he addressed it to 'Mr.Stark' instead of Tony. Then he apologizes not once, not twice, but six times. And the worst part, the part that makes Tony's heart just about shatter, is Peter saying that Tony hates him. 

Tony could never, ever, hate Peter. No one could. He can't even comprehend the thought of anyone hating a boy as sweet as his kid. Sure, Peter has had his ups and downs. But really, this is the first time Tony has ever seen Peter actually raise his voice at someone. He's so unbelievably nice to everyone, and the thought that anyone could genuinely hate him is so completely unrealistic. 

But especially Tony. Anyone with a pair of eyes and a single braincell can see just how much Tony cares for Peter. He cares for Peter more than he's cared for anyone before. It doesn't even matter that Peter's not really his kid. He still loves him as if he is. 

"Friday?" 

"Yes boss?" 

"Where did Peter go?" 

"I believe he's on the roof, Sir." 

Tony sighs and drags himself out of Peter's room, walking as slowly as he can down the hallway towards the elevator. He wants to prolong this as long as he can. He's upset, Peters upset, and he feels like whatever he's going to do will make it worse. 

Eventually though, there's no more putting it off. He's standing in front of the elevator, and he knows he can't just stand there and wait for Peter to come to him. He needs to go up to the roof. 

So, after a long while of staring blankly at the elevator doors, he steps inside and takes it to the roof. 

He doesn't see Peter right away. He's not out the open, but rather hiding in the shadows on the far end of the roof. Tony walks over and sits down next to him, his feet dangling off the edge, but doesn't say anything. Not for a while. 

"How long have you been up here?" He asks finally, glancing at Peter briefly before turning his gaze back to the slowly setting sun. 

"You guys were still planning when I left." So it's been hours. At least two. 

Tony, without really thinking about it, shrugs off his jacket and tosses it over Peter's shoulders. It's absolutely freezing up on the roof, and all Peter is wearing is a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Peter doesn't thank him, but does slide his arms into the jacket and tug it closer to his body.

The two of them sit watching the sun set in silence, neither of them wanting to be the first one to talk. 

Peter ends up being the first one to speak, because while he may be stubborn, no one is as stubborn as Tony. 

"I'm really sorry, Tony. I shouldn't have said that." 

"It's okay. You didn't mean it." 

"That doesn't- That doesn't make it okay. There was no reason for me to say it." 

"You were mad." 

"Unreasonably mad. I know you're just...just trying to keep me safe." 

"I understand." 

"You're upset with me." 

"No I'm not." 

"Yes you are." 

"No. I'm not." 

"Yes. You are." 

"I'm not." 

"You are! You won't look at me and you're barely even talking to me!" 

"I'm not upset with you." 

"Well you're upset with someone and there's no one else for you to be upset with besides me!" 

"I'm upset with myself?" It comes out almost like a question, as if Tony is unsure if that's actually the truth. 

"What?! Why would you- What would you- Why?!" 

"Because I shouldn't have yelled at you." 

"To be fair, I yelled at you first." 

"I shouldn't have yelled back." 

"You tried not to." 

"But I still did." 

"Oh my god, I was never upset because you yelled. Why is that the only thing you're focusing on?" 

"Because I shouldn't have done it." 

"Jesus christ. I can't- I can't even- Whatever. Can we talk about the actual issue here? The reason I got upset in the first place?" 

"Yes."

"Why won't you let me go out with the rest of the group?" 

Tony takes a deep breath, leaning forward slightly and resting his forearms on his thighs. "This isn't something that you can help with, Kid. If it was something smaller maybe you could come out with us, but this is too big. This isn't something you're ready for. Honestly, I'm not sure if some of the team is ready for it either, but I'm not in charge of them. I can't stop them. I can stop you. If those idiots want to get themselves killed, I can't stop them. But it's my job to make sure you don't get killed. And if you went up against this you would definitely die."

Peter let's out a small puff of air, trying not to get angry again. "But you've seen me train. I'm better than most of the group. I beat them everytime!" 

Tony doesn't want to be the one to tell Peter that the team was going easy on him, but how else is he going to make Peter understand this? "Kid, I've been training with most of these guys for years. I know all their moves. I know when they're...not trying their best. And when they train with you, they're not trying their best. If Steve wanted you on the ground, you would have been. Same with Sam, Barnes, and maybe Scott too. They don't- None of us want to hurt you."

Now Peter is angry all over again. They promised they weren't going easy. They told him over and over that they were trying their best. They lied to him. "Oh." 

"I'm sorry, Peter. We just- We don't want you to get hurt." Tony finally looks over at Peter, frowning. "Let's go inside, yeah? It's too cold out here." 

Peter nods and silently pushes himself up, making his way down into the building without a glance back at Tony. Both him and the elevator are gone by the time Tony is standing. 

When the elevator comes back up for Tony and he finally makes it back into the building, Peter is sitting on the couch with his suit laying next to him. "If I let you take it can I go out as spiderman again?" 

"Yeah, yes, of course. It may take a few days." 

"Okay. Here, take it." Peter grabs the suit and tosses it in Tony's general direction. Tony catches it and sets it on the arm chair. 

"Peter, you're still upset." 

"Huh, really?" 

"Can you just- Can you actually talk to me? Is there something else going on?" Tony asks, sitting down next to Peter on the couch. 

"No." 

"No you wont talk to me or no there's not something else going on?" 

"Both?" 

"Peter, kid, please. If you're upset, if I did something wrong, I need to know." 

"You didn't do anything wrong, that's the problem!" 

"I....I dont think I'm following you?" 

"You just- You do everything right. You know exactly what to do all the time. And I'm so happy here. But that's the problem. I feel like I shouldn't be happy. It's barely been four months since Aunt May died and I'm having the time of my life with the Avengers instead of mourning her and- No, it's stupid. I'm sorry. "

"Hey, we've talked about this. Your aunt wouldn't be mad at you for being happy. If you died would you want Ned to sit around and be upset his whole life, or would you want him to do what it takes for him to be happy?" 

"I'd want him to be happy, obviously. But-" 

"No. No buts. Your aunt would want you to be happy, okay? There's no way she would be upset with you for being happy. You haven't forgotten her, I'm sure that's all she really wants." 

Peter looks over at Tony skeptically, "yeah. Okay."

"Hey, I think we have some time to kill before the team comes back and we have to go help with injuries. You wanna watch a movie?" Tony asks, trying to ease some tension. It works. A little bit. Peter is always grateful when Tony offers a distraction, as it seems to be the best way to help. 

"Do I get to choose?" 

"I don't see why not."

"Can I make cocoa?" 

"I can make it while you choose a movie?" 

"Deal." 

Tony nods and makes his way into the kitchen, a small smile coming over his face for the first time tonight. 

The issues Peter has are far from solved. There are still so many buried feelings that he has yet to deal with. But this is progress. Everyday he's making progress. 

Progress with his nightmares. With his relationship with Tony. With his anxiety. With his feelings relating to his aunt. With everything. Everyday he's getting just the tiniest bit better.

Maybe someday Tony will bring up therapy. Help Peter get better more efficiently. But that's a discussion for some other time. 

For now, though, all he wants to do is drink cocoa and watch whatever  movie Peter picks out. (Which, by the way, isn't even a movie. He ends up choosing Doctor Who, after remembering that Steve said Tony has never watched it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so unsatisfied with this chapter but if I try to read it over one more time I'll claw my eyes out. I'm just super bad at dealing with fighting and feelings, because I don't have to deal with that in my life. I run away from fights and I push my feelings way down deep so idk how I'm supposed to write it accurately.  
> That said, this chapter took SO long to write. Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's suit is finally ready.

______________

"Hey, Peter, you awake yet?" Tony calls out quietly, knocking on Peter's door.

"Yeah, come in!"

This is the first time Tony has been in Peter's room since their altercation, (or, as Peter called it, a "loud conversation," since he refuses to call it a fight) and it's been completely cleaned up. The bed made, the desk stacked neatly with papers, and the broken pieces of the chair set in a stack in front of the closet.

Tony holds the Spiderman suit out towards Peter, who grabs it quickly. "Is it finished? Can I go out?" He asks excitedly, examining the suit. There's no reason to examine it, of course, as it still looks exactly the same. All Tony did was change some programing with the AI.

"Yeah, just make sure I know before you go."

"Fuck yea- Sorry! Thank you Tony! Can I go out now? Please?"

"Do you think there's going to be any crime happening at nine in the morning on a Sunday?"

"There's _always_ crime, we live in New York."

"Fine. Just make sure to get food before you go, and eat lunch if you're out long."

"Will do. Thanks so much!" Peter hops out of bed and hugs Tony so quickly that he doesn't have time to reciprocate the embrace, and then pushes him out of the room so he can change.

Tony waits outside of Peter's door while he changes, and then falls into step next to him while he walks down the hallway. "How are you planning on getting all the way to the city? I don't think you can swing the whole way there."

"Oh, right. Is Happy busy?"

"No, but you have to eat before you go, remember?" Tony grabs Peter just before he reaches out to press the elevator button.

"Oh, right."

"I'll tell Happy to pull a car around to the front. You go eat."

"'Course. Thanks." Peter slides out of Tony's grip and makes his way into the kitchen, grinning behind his mask. There's not much to eat. There never really is, unless Peter wants to take the time to make an actual meal, which he doesn't.

He eventually settles for a banana, shoving as much as he can into his mouth and then throwing the rest into the trash. Who has time to eat when there's crime to stop?

When Peter makes it out to where Happy has parked the car, Tony is bent over with his head stuck through the window, talking to Happy in a low voice. Peter waits a few feet away, very impatiently, for their conversation to end, before sliding into the backseat of the car.

"Be safe, kid. I don't want to have to come get you because of another broken ankle," Tony says, half joking half not.

"I will, I promise. Now go!"

Tony smiles softly and takes a few steps backwards, away from the car. Happy pulls away from the compound, leaving Tony standing alone outside.

"I know he told you to follow me," Peter says after a while, letting his mask come down away from his face.

"There's no way you could have heard what we were talking about, Peter."

"I did. And you're not going to follow me."

"Who said I was going to follow you?"

"You and Tony did."

"Why would your dad tell me to follow you?"

Peter starts at Tony being referred to as his dad, but otherwise ignores it. "You've seen how he's been acting. Everyone knows he'd ask you to do something like that."

Happy doesn't speak again after that, despite Peter trying to bring the subject up again and again. He eventually stops the car in an alleyway in the heart of Queens, unlocking the car so Peter can slide out. Peter brings his mask up and then leans up between the front seats, "if you follow me I'll see you. I have enhanced senses, y'know. And that _includes_ hearing. Thanks for the ride!"

With that, Peter slides out of the car and swings himself out of the alleyway. God, it felt good to be back. Back in the city. Back in _his_ city. Back out helping the little guy. Back doing what he loves.

He swings to a building a few streets over, watching Happy drive away from him. When he's sure that Happy is finally close to the city limits, Peter starts swinging around for a while.

Tony was right - There really is no crime happening before noon. He stopped one guy from stealing a motorcycle that may or may not have actually been his, and that's about it.

He got a sandwich from Delmars, but he had to get something other than his regular because he didn't want them to link the sandwich back to him. He eats it while perched on top of the building he always scouts on, listening and watching and _feeling_ for anything out of the ordinary. There's nothing.

After hes finished his sandwich and has swung three rounds around the entire city, he finds himself standing in front of the door to his apartment. Or, old apartment, really. It's not his anymore. It's vacant. Completely empty.

"May? Can I have the key?" Peter whispers to his suit, feeling the key get pushed into his hand. He's not sure how the science behind that works. He told May he wanted to bring the key with him, she kind of just pushed it into his suit, and now it's out again.

He unlocks the door to the apartment, frowning. Everything is... gone. The apartment he grew up in is completely empty. No furniture. No pictures lining the walls. No food in the cupboards. No marks on the wall keeping track of his height. No scratch in the paint from when he slid down the hallway in his socks and ran into the wall. No stain on the carpet from when he jumped out of a cupboard and scared his uncle and made him spill his coffee.

Nothing. Everything is gone. Everything that made this little apartment in a big city feel like home is gone.

Peter closes the door softly behind him and slides onto the floor, leaning against it. He was expecting to see something, _anything,_ to show that he lives there. _Lived_ there. He assumed they would have left everything that they hadn't taken to the compound for him. But they didn't. All of his aunts stuff is gone.

He let's the mask come away from his face and tangles his hands in his hair, propping his elbows up on his knees. It's hard to see his childhood home reduced to just another apartment.

He sits there for a while in silence, staring ahead of him at the blank wall that used to be filled with family photos.

When his suit starts ringing, he jumps, quickly bringing his mask back up. "Mr.Stark is calling, Peter."

"Uh, accept?"

It's silent for a few seconds, and Peter starts to think that he imagined the call. Until Tony's voice cuts through the silence. "Hey, kid, you okay?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be? Why'd you call?"

"One of the alerts I set up... it's not important. Are you sure you're okay?"

"There has to be a reason you called."

"I told you, I was alerted."

"Alerted for _what?_ I'm not hurt."

"Not being hurt and being okay are different things."

"I'm perfectly fine, Tony. I promise."

"Then why are you in your old apartment?"

"What?! Are you watching me?? Jesus, is Happy here? I told him-"

"Happy isn't there. Yes, I put a tracker in your suit. How else would I find you if you got hurt?"

"God- I'm hanging up now. I'm going to go see if Ned's home."

"Peter Parker don't you dare-"

"May, end call."

A beep echoes through Peter's mask, signifying the end of the call. "May, why was he alerted?"

"You were showing signs of distress."

"I'm _fine-"_

_"_ Physically, yes. But you're distressed, and you've been in this place for far longer than necessary, and Mr.Stark-"

"Tony doesn't need to know when I'm upset, okay? If I want him to know I'll let him know."

"Of course, Peter, but-"

"No buts. Unless I'm actually injured, you don't alert him for anything."

"Of course, Peter." She's lying, of course. She _has_ to alert her boss when  necessary, and Peter is not the one who determines when it's necessary. She can't go against her programming. Tony programed her to help and protect Peter, and if she has to lie to Peter in order to do that, she will.

Peter, seemingly satisfied, pushes himself off the floor. He takes one final glance at the empty apartment before turning on his heel and leaving. He stops for a second outside of the door, just long enough to drop the key on the doormat, and keeps walking.

"Tell Tony I may not be home for dinner. I'm going to go hang out with Ned."

"Right away, Peter. I'll let him know." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry this update took so bloody long. I was a bit sidetracked this week.  
> Just letting you know that this will be the last one for a while! I'm going to camp tomorrow and I won't be back until next Sunday (August 10th)  
> Don't expect an update immediately, either, because I'll still have to write it after I get back.  
> Thank you for your patience :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony need to have a serious discussion.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Peter shouts when the elevator doors finally open. He lets his mask come away from his face, frowning slightly when no one replies.

"Hello? Anyone home? Er, I mean, here? Anyone here?"

When Peter is met with nothing but silence, he cautiously puts his mask back up and walks farther into the compound. It's unusual for no one to be there. There's always at least one person.

"Friday? Where is everyone?" Peter asks, just barely loud enough for the AI to hear.

"They left for a mission four hours ago. Mister Stark left a note for you on the kitchen counter."

"Is there anyone here? You've done a scan?"

"Just you, Peter."

"Okay. Thanks Friday."

"Of course."

Peter brings his mask down again and then makes his way into the kitchen, picking up the piece of paper sitting on the counter.

 _Peter,_  
_went out for a mission. shouldnt take long. would have taken you to this one but you were out and wouldnt answer the calls. should be home to make dinner or have steve make dinner, but if im not back by seven heres money to order food. Please dont blow up the lab while I'm gone (yes, you have permission to go into the lab. dont break anything.)_  
_hope your first day back in the city went well and you had fun with ned._

 _be back soon,_  
_d̶a̶d̶  tony_

Peter furrows his brows when he finally reaches the end of the note, carefully folding it up and setting it back on the counter. That was the second time today that Tony had been referred to as his dad. It was clearly just a mistake though, since it was crossed out, so he ignores it.

It's already far past seven. Almost nine o'clock. So, Peter quickly orders a few large pizzas so there's food for the group when they get back. He changes into pajamas and then flops down in front of the television in the common room, pulling his phone out.

"Siri, call Mister Stark."

"Calling Mister Stark."

The phone rings for a few moments too long, and Peter thinks it's going to voice mail, but Tony answers at the last possible second. "Hey kid, not a good time!"

"Are you guys still on the mission? Do you need help?"

"No, we'll be back soon. It's just taking- Fuck - Longer than expected. You're really gonna wish you hadn't done that..." Theres a few loud sounds on Tony's end of the call, a couple of gun shots, and then Tony's voice comes through the speakers again. "We'll probably be done in fifteen minutes and back home in thirty. Order some pizza or takeout for us, will you?"

"Already way ahead of you on that."

"Perfect. You're the best, kid. See you soon."

"Okay, be careful!"

"I always am. Don't blow up the compound."

When a low beep rings out, signifying the end of the call, Peter tosses his phone onto the couch next to him. He flips through a few news channels, watching the different reports on "The Avengers Take Down a Group of Terrorists."

By the time he's on the third news story, which seems to have all of the facts wrong, Tony is walking into the common room with loads of pizza boxes in his arms. Peter assumes the pizza delivery person got there just as the team was landing.

Peter hops off the couch and takes half the stack of pizzas from Tony, helping carry them into the kitchen. "How was the mission?"

"We kicked some terrorist butt!" Steve yells, dropping his shield on the floor by the elevator.

"Oh _come_ **_on_** Steve, I told you to stop leaving it on the floor! I don't want to trip over it again!" Sam picks up Steve's shield, throwing it at him.

"Bucky, my love. My ray of sunshine. My favourite person in the whole universe. My-"

"Yes, I'll take the shield to our room. Get me pizza." Bucky grabs the shield from Steve and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking out of the common room.

"You have a fun time out in the city?" Tony asks once Peter and him are alone in the kitchen, handing Peter a paper plate for his pizza.

"Yeah. Didn't stop much crime but I got to see Ned and Mj for a while."

"I'm glad you had fun, kid. Listen, don't fall asleep in front of the tv tonight, I want to talk to you about something."

"Can't we just talk now?"

"I'd rather wait till we're alone."

Peter raises an eyebrow at this, nodding slowly. "Er, just so I don't freak out all night, you're not like, telling me to leave or something, right? Because I will if that's what you want but I'd prefer if you told me now instead of later because I just don't-"

"I'm not asking you to leave, Peter! Jesus, do you really think I'd just kick you out?" Tony cuts off Peters incessant rambling, grabbing onto his shoulder tightly as if to stop him from actually leaving.

"I mean, I dunno. Maybe. I figured..."

"I'm not going to- Why would I- I'd never just kick you out, kid. No matter how angry I get with you, or how much of a brat you're being, I'd never leave you to go back to how you were before. You hear me?"

"Yes, mist- Tony. Yeah."

Tony's expression softens slightly and he grabs a plate of pizza, patting Peters shoulder before removing his hand. "Lets go hang out with the rest of those idiots, yeah? We'll tell you about the mission."

Peter forces a small smile and nods, following Tony out into the living room and sitting on the floor in front of the couch. He wants to be excited about the mission. He wants to be happy. Tony isn't abandoning him, so he should be okay. But what if Tony is going to talk to him about something worse? He's not sure what _would_ be worse, but it surely can't be good if he doesn't want anyone else to hear?

He tries to listen and get excited about the mission. He tries to ask questions. He tries to figure out which parts are supposed to be funny and laughs at them. But it's difficult. He's distracted. His mind keeps drifting to whatever Tony might want to talk to him about.

Scott must have noticed, because about halfway through Steves breakdown of the mission, he interrupts. "C'mon man, this is boring. Let's watch a movie or something," he says with a quick glance over at Peter.

Peter nods appreciatively, quick to agree with Scott. "Yeah, sorry Steve, but I think I already got the highlights from the rest of the teams stories. I don't need a breakdown of every move you guys took."

Steve, surprisingly, doesn't look offended in the slightest. "Alright, what do you wanna watch?"

"Hm... Have any of you seen The Office?" Peter asks, easily catching the remote that Tony throws to him.

"Sam and I have! I don't think anyone else has, though. But isn't there like, nine seasons?" Scott asks, standing up to grab a few more slices of pizza.

"Yep. I'm sure we can get in a few seasons before all these old people fall asleep," Peter says, earning a bunch of small protests from the aforementioned old people.

Peter purposefully chose such a long show, of course. Prolong the inevitable conversation. Maybe if he can stay awake long enough watching something, Tony will fall asleep first. He's pulled hundreds of all nighters before, so he'll be fine.

That plan didn't work, obviously. One thing Peter should have known about Tony is that if anyone has pulled more all nighters than Peter, it's him.

Around three in the morning, when everyone else but Bucky is asleep, Tony grabs Peters arm and gently tugs him out of the living room. "Can we talk now?"

"Can I say no?"

Tony shoots Peter a pointed look. "No. Your room or mine?"

"Uh, mine? I guess?"

Tony leads Peter into his bedroom, not letting go of his arm until both of them are seated on the end of the bed.

"This isn't anything... bad, right? Because it's almost four AM and I don't think I can-"

"I don't think it's bad. I really _hope_ it's not bad. Would you just let me talk?"

Peter stares at Tony for a few moments and nods, reaching behind him to grab a pillow and hold it to his chest.

"Okay, well uh... So I've been talking with the rest of the team. Steve and Nat, mostly. And, well, you've been here for a while now. Long enough to be comfortable with everyone. And they were saying... Well, legally... With all of the paper work and everything... Fuck, okay, uhm, can I adopt you? Officially?" Tony chews on his bottom lip anxiously, watching Peter carefully while he waits for an answer.

Peter thinks it over, staring at his hands and refusing to meet Tony's eyes while he does. Eventually, about two minutes later, he reaches a decision. "No."

"I- Wha- But- Why??"

"It just... it doesn't feel right."

Tony sits there silently for a few minutes, waiting for Peter to elaborate. He never does. "What do you mean it 'doesn't feel right?' What doesn't feel right?"

"I don't know! It's just- I feel like... I don't know."

"No. Stop saying you don't know. You know, you're just scared to say it. I've seen you do this before. It's okay if you don't want me to adopt you, Peter. I just want to know why. I'm not going to be angry."

Peter takes a deep, shaky breath, and wraps his arms tighter around the pillow in his lap. "It's just- Aunt may- And- I don't... I feel like I'm abandoning her. She raised me. She took care of me when no one else would. And-And she...If you adopt me, it's like I'm completely throwing all of that away. I don't know. It's stupid. I don't know. I'm sorry."

Tony starts to reach out, maybe to place a hand on Peter's arm or pull him into a hug, but pulls back at the last second and places his hand back in his lap. "I don't think it's stupid. It makes sense. But I also think you're wrong. You're not throwing it all away. She still raised you. She made you the kid you are today. The only way you could completely throw what she did away is if you start forgetting what she taught you, yknow? If you start acting like something other than the good kid she taught you to be. I don't think this would change anything she did for you. But it's okay if you think that. "

Peter nods and draws his knees up to his chest, squishing the pillow between his stomach and knees. "I just don't want to forget about her."

"Peter you'll never forget about her. You said it yourself, she raised you. She's such a huge part of your life and there's no possible way for you to forget about her."

Peter shifts slightly closer to Tony, but still not close enough for them to be touching. Tony takes that as his sign to wrap his arms tightly around Peter, cradling his head to his collar bone. "Is this okay?"

Peter doesn't reply, but tugs the pillow from where it's smooshed between the two of them and tosses it onto the bed before wrapping his arms around Tonys middle. He grabs Tony's t-shirt loosely in one of his fists, clinging to him like a child.

But really, he is a child. He's only sixteen. He hasn't had any time to act like a child since his aunt died. He really hasn't had time to act like a child since he became Spiderman, actually. So he needs this. He needs the small moments with Tony where he's allowed to be vulnerable and act like a kid.

"You don't have to agree to anything you don't want to, kid. Remember, I'm even newer to this whole thing than you are. I'm just kinda figuring it out as I go. We'll figure it out eventually. Together," Tony says, gently resting his chin on top of Peters head.

Without moving from where he's settled against Tony, Peter nods. "I'm just not ready yet. Someday I will be. Just...not yet."

"And that's okay. That's _so_ okay. We'll do all of this on your terms. Whatever you need, we'll do it on your terms. All you have to do is talk to me."

Peter is silent for a while after that, but it's hard for either of them to tell how long. Could have been minutes, but it very well may have been hours. He doesn't speak until his fingers are cramping and Tony's legs are asleep.

"I don't think I can sleep tonight," he says, releasing his grip on Tony's shirt and pulling out of the embrace.

"Yeah? Me either. How about you teach me how to put together one of those Lego sets I got you? I've never been able to figure them out on my own."

"C'mon, you created the most advanced technology in the world. Legos can't be that hard!"

"Believe it or not, Legos just aren't my forte."

"Well, I think a mini Death Star will be a good place to start, then. C'mon."

Peter climbs off his bed and settles down on one of his beanbags, already working on opening the box before Tony even sits down next to him.

The rest of the night passes quickly and with lots of lighthearted joking. Tony, struggling immensely to figure out the instructions for the Death Star, was on the receiving end on many of those jokes.

And if Peter did ninety percent of the work on the Lego set, nobody had to know. Because it made Peter happy, and that's all that really mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry for such a late update. like I said in the last chapter, I was at camp all week. two days after I got back I had to go to Idaho to spend time with family, which is where I am right now. I haven't had much time to write so I'm sorry if this isn't a great chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed anyways!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is invited on his first mission on Christmas eve

______________________

_"Hey Peter, can you go tell your dad it's his turn to make breakfast?"_

_"Kid, make sure your dad knows Steve went grocery shopping, will you?"_

_"Hey Spiderman, your dad just left so we have an open spot. Do you wanna play Smash?"_

_"Peter, your dad is down in the lab and he told me to let you know."_

_"Did Sam already tell you your dad wants you in the lab?"_

_"Since your stupid dad won't come out of the lab, I made him a sandwich. Make sure he eats it, kay?"_

_"Dinners ready, tell your dad to come out of his lab or I'll go down and drag him out."_

_"He won't come up? God, your dad is so stubborn."_

_"Fine, I'll go get him. I hope your dad enjoys cold tacos."_

_"Tell your stupid dad to get back up here, it's his turn to wash dishes."_

_"Don't forget your dad wants you back in the lab for a few minutes."_

_"We're gonna watch the office again, go ask your dad if he wants to watch too."_

" _Peter, you still up? I can't see your face. Okay. Your dad said you didn't get much sleep last night and he wants you in bed by two."_

_"Hey, it was your dad's rule, not mine. Don't shoot the messenger."_

_"Don't believe me? Fine, go fight it out with your dad."_

_"Ah, Peter wait! Your dad said no one's allowed in the lab for a few more hours. He's working on something, I guess."_

_"Yknow what? Fine. He's your dad so maybe you'll be allowed in. It's not my fight to pick."_

_"What'd your dad say?"_

"G _oodnight Peter. See you tomorrow. Maybe your dad will actually come out of the lab and talk to us."_

~

Peter layed awake in bed for hours after he went to his room, mulling over everyone's words today.

For the past few weeks, no one had referred to Tony as anything but "Peters dad." And that would be fine... if Peter hadn't already told Tony he wasn't ready for that to happen yet.

It wasn't like Peter didn't see Tony as a dad. It was hard not to, with everything he had done for him. But he didn't want to admit to that yet. He wanted to push those feelings down and ignore them for as long as possible.

He's still stuck on the whole "replacing his aunt and uncle" thing. If he starts thinking of Tony as his dad, does he stop thinking of May and Ben as the people who raised him?

He knows, somewhere deep in his subconscious, that that's not how it works. He knows he can think of Tony as his dad and still love his aunt and uncle just as much. But at the surface, where he can see without digging too deep into his feelings, he doesn't want to lose the few parts of the people that raised him he has left.

Peter doesn't realise the sun has risen until Tony is knocking on his door, coming in to wake him up. "Hey Peter, we- Oh, you're already awake. How long have you been up?"

Peter just shrugs, slowly sitting up. "Okay. Well, we have a mission if you're up to coming along. Nothing big, just the same group of terrorists we dealt with a few months back. The whole team isn't even coming, just a few of us. We're leaving in twenty if you want to come. Meet up at the landing pad and we'll brief you on the way. "

"Okay, thank you Tony! I'll get ready right now!"

Tony nods and walks out of the room, leaving Peter alone to get ready. He hops out of bed as soon as the door clicks shut, grabbing his Spiderman suit from his closet and pulling it on over his boxers as fast as he can. He doesn't even care that it's Christmas Eve. He'd go on a mission even if it was on his birthday.

He runs out of his room, stopping just long enough to grab an apple out of the kitchen, and then bolts into the elevator.

No one is on the landing pad yet and Peter isn't sure what mode of transportation they're using, so he sits down on the edge of the roof, watching the sun rise slowly over the horizon. He eats his apple slowly, but he still finishes it before anyone else makes it up to the roof.

When Tony, Scott, Sam, and Natasha finally step out of the elevator, Peter quickly hops up. He throws his apple core off the side of the roof, landing it in a trashcan outside of the compounds entrance.

"Hey kid, you ready?" Tony asks, leading the team to one of the helicopters.

"Yep! So, what are we doing? Whose ass are we kicking?"

Once everyone was settled down in the helicopter, Tony starts the briefing. Peter listens intently, determined not to fuck up the first mission he's going on.

The trip is way longer than Peter expects, especially since Tony said it was just in the city. Eventually though, they land the helicopter in a large, open field.

"Tony? I'm pretty sure this isn't the city," Peter says sceptically. He unbuckles and peeks out of the helicopter, seeing nothing but grass and snow.

"May, activate Dark Mode," is all Tony says in reply.

"Yes boss."

"Tony wha- Hey!! May, inactivate dark mode! Inactivate! Light mode! I can't see!" Peter shouts, trying desperately to bring his mask away from his face.

"Peter, hey, kid, calm down. You're fine. You're okay. I need you to trust me, okay? Do you trust me?" Tony's voice cuts throught Peter's panic, his hand pressing into his shoulder to ground him.

"We're not really on a mission, are we?" Peter asks softly, blindly reaching for Tony's hand on his shoulder and gripping it tightly.

"No, but I promise this is just as good. We're not trying to kidnap you or anything. Obviously. Why would I if you already live with me? Now cmon, it's a bit of walking to get to where we need to be," Tony says. He takes his hand away from Peters shoulder, letting Peter cling to his arm instead.

"Just so you know, I hate this."

"I know. You poor, poor spiderbaby. Now stop complaining, you're going to like this. I promise."

"Can you at least take dark mode or whatever off until we're closer so I can actually see where I'm walking??"

"Nope. We're almost there. Plus, you haven't tripped over anything yet, have you? No? That's what I thought. Stop whining."

"Hey, Tony, do you want us to run ahead and see if the others are fully set up?" Scott asks from behind them. Peter had almost forgotten the others were there.

"The others? What others? The rest of the group? Setting up what?" Peter asks, tugging on Tony's arm lightly.

Peter's completely ignored and Tony nods at Scott. "Yeah, go ahead. Comm me if you need us to stay back for a bit longer."

"I don't _want_ to stay back longer! It's cold out here!"

"Peter, your suit heats up. Do you really think I'd forget a heater?"

"Wait, really?? May, turn the heat on?!"

Peters immediately met with a blast of warmth that engulfs his entire body. "God, that's nice. Okay, I'm good now."

Tony rolls his eyes fondly, ceasing his walking when Natashas voice comes over his comm. "Everything's all good here, we're ready for him."

"We'll be there in a minute, thanks Romanoff," Tony said and then started waking again. "Can you survive another minute without whining?" He asks, turning his head towards Peter.

"No. I can't. Can you tell me where you're taking me?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty pretty please?"

"No."

"Please please please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"Please please please please please please please please please please please-"

"How about you see for yourself? May, dark mode off."

Peter's vision slowly returns and his mask comes away from his face. He takes in the sight around him, his mouth falling open slightly.

Everything around them is covered in a layer of clean, white snow, which is sparkling in the sunlight. The trees are all covered in different lights and Christmas ornaments. When the sun hits an ornament just right, it casts the colour of that ornament onto the snow, turning all of the white around them into a blanket of rainbows.

Between two of the trees is a banner, which looks like it was painted by a six year old (probably Scott and Bucky,) with the words "Merry Christmas, Peter!" across it. Beneath that is a picnic table stacked with gifts.

The last thing Peters eyes flick to are his two best friends standing in a line with the rest of the Avengers. Peter looks up at Tony, his eyes shining. "This is- is this for me?" He asks softly, lip quivering slightly. He doesn't know if he's going to cry because he's so happy or because he's so overwhelmed.

"Yeah, Kid. Thought you could use something like this. Go on, go see your friends," Tony smiles softly, pushing Peter in the direction of Mj and Ned.

Peter quickly turns around, wrapping Tony up in a tight hug, before running over to Ned and Mj.

Mj grins at Peter and does something no one would ever expect him to do - He pulls Peter in for a quick hug. "I missed you, loser," He says, leaving Peter a blushing, blubbering mess when he pulls away. Ned distracts Peter from the ongoing Gay Panic by bringing him over to the stack of gifts, shoving a few of them into his hands.

"Can I open these now?" Peter asks the question in the direction of Tony, but gets his answer from Steve instead.

"Of course! They're all for you!"

Peter grins and tears into one of the presents Ned gave to him, his eyes widening. "HOLY SHHHHIII...OOT. SHOOT. THIS IS AWESOME! Ned! Ned look! It's the Hogwarts Lego set! These are like five hundred bucks!"

"Holy crap! Can I see it? Please? While you open the others?" Ned asks excitedly, already reaching for it. Peter happily hands it over and sticks his tongue out at Mj, who playfully mutters "geeks" under his breath.

The rest of the morning passes peacefully. Everything revolves around Peter, and he definitely won't admit it for fear of sounding selfish, but it was really nice. He felt like a kid again. The only time he ever really feels like a kid is when he has those small moments with Tony where he can talk about his feelings and just be...vulnerable.

But today, today was different. Getting out of bed excited for a mission and then having a whole winter wonderland all dedicated to him made him feel like he was an eight year old walking into one of the birthday parties May had planned for him. If he focused hard enough, it almost felt like May was right there with him, handing presents to him along side the rest of the Avengers.  
  
  
  


Later in the night, when they're back at the compound, Tony pulls Peter aside. "Hey Kid. I uh, I have another present for you. But I didn't want everyone else to see because I felt like it was more private or whatever... So yeah, here."

Peter grabs the wrapped present with furrowed brows, tearing the wrapping paper off of it slowly. When it's finally uncovered and he can see the whole thing, he looks up at Tony with shining eyes.  
"Go on, open it."

Peter flips open the book, a few tears spilling onto his hand while he looks at all of the pictures. "I found all of these in your apartment when we were cleaning it out...Natasha and Steve have been helping me put it together...I just thought- Yknow, since you don't really have anything of your aunt, it'd be cool to have all of the pictures of you guys in one place."

Peter closes the book gently and wraps his arms around Tony's middle, trying to say thank you. He's too choked up to speak properly so Tony shushes him and reciprocates the hug, stroking Peters hair gently.

"It's okay, kid. You're okay," Tony says, holding Peter to him as tight as he can. "Cmon, you're okay. Your friends are waiting for you in your room."

Peter sniffs and pulls away, nodding and wiping his nose on his sleeve. "Yeah. Thank you so much. Really. I love it."

"Don't mention it. Go hang out with those two nerds. No funny business with Mj, alright?" Tony jokes, ruffling Peter's hair and jokingly shoving him in the direction of his room.

Peter gapes at him, stumbling forward. "I'm not- I don't- Its not- Ugh! You're so lame!"

"I know, I try my best. Now go!"

Peter rolls his eyes and walks down the hallway towards his room, grinning the whole way.

All in all, it was the best day he's had in a really, really long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! I'm sorry if there are some typos. I usually read my chapters through about four times before publishing but I was so excited to post this one i only read it twice.  
> Hope you guys liked reading it as much as i liked writing it!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas!!

______________________

 

Christmas is going great. Really really great. Happy drops Mj and Ned off at their respective homes on his way to his own house, getting a few days off to spend time with his wife and son. This is Peter's first time hearing of Happys family, and when he asks about them Happy is all too.... _happy_ to share.

Apparently he has a wife named Katarina and a fifteen year old son named Jamie. Jamie's getting the newest Playstation and a new car for Christmas. Katrina's getting a lifetime of free massages, amongst other things. It was definitely way more information than Peter needed.

Scott goes home to be with Cassie, but he's returning later in the evening because he has to share the day with Cassies mom.

So, since they're all gone, it's just Peter and part of the team. Tony, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, and Sam. Since none of them have a family to go home to, or their family was already right there with them, they really had no choice but to stay.

Since Peter had already opened all of his presents yesterday, he offers to pass out the presents under the tree. Everyone gets a decent amount of presents, but Peter feels really guilty when he sees its significantly less than what he got. He doesn't mention it though, not wanting to bring the mood down and make it all about him.

He passes out the presents he got everyone last. Sam opens his first. "You uh, you mentioned that you wished you had some more stuff from home...I figured you could go back and visit instead? I know you could go whenever you wanted but I thought this would be a good excuse. So there's, uh, stuff to do there? Tickets for the theater, a coupon for free treats from Levain Bakery, tickets for the Studio Museum... I dunno. If you don't like it I-"

"Peter, this is amazing. Seriously. Thank you." Sam offers Peter a bright smile before looking back down at the present in his hand, flipping through all of the different tickets.

Bucky and Steve are next. "So this one's for both of you, obviously. I heard Steve talking about how he wanted to visit different countries for something other than a mission, so...two plane tickets to England! And a bunch of extra cash so you can visit way more places... I just thought a vacation would be nice, yknow? But-"

"Don't you dare say anything about us not liking it. We love it. I love it. It's exactly what we need. Thank you so much." Steve grins and pulls Peter off the floor for a tight hug, which Peter reciprocates shyly.

He turns to Natasha next, holding her present out to her. "Tony helped me a lot with this one. It was my idea though! Uhm, I know your suit is a little old and worn, so we made you a new one? With way more advanced features and stuff. I don't know all the specific details, you'd have to ask Tony. But it was my idea and, not to brag or anything, but it was my idea to put in the heater like I have in my suit because you looked really cold yesterday. But if we need to make adjustments or take something out or-" Peters cut off when three balls of wrapping paper hit him at the same time.

"Seriously, паук, stop doubting yourself. The suits great, I really needed a new one. Thank you!" Natasha presses a kiss to Peters cheek, grinning at his reddening face.

"I-I'm glad you like it Miss Romanoff."

"Miss Romanoff? Really?"

Peter just shrugs shyly, grabbing Tony's present and handing it to him. "Uh... yours isn't as cool as everyone elses...I made yours... I dunno... Just- Here."

Tony opens it slowly, a small smile appearing on his face when the wrapping paper uncovers it. "You just seemed so busy...I didn't think you'd have time to go through it all... I just thought, yknow, having all the best ones together when you're feeling down or something... It's stupid I dunno."

Its a small photo book, much like the one Tony had given Peter yesterday. Inside are a bunch of notes and drawings that Tony received as fanmail. Peter put in some of the really detailed drawings, of course. But his favourites were the ones drawn by little kids. The six year olds looking up to Tony just like Peter had. The notes, though, he usually put in the ones from adults. The ones talking about how Tony saved or inspired their kids.

"Peter...Kid, this is..." Tony trails off, lightly tracing one of the drawings with his finger.

"It's dumb. I know. I'm sorry, I was going to get you something real but-"

"Peter this...it's perfect. I don't even know what to say. I love it. I really, really love it." Tony stands up and sets the book where he was previously sitting before pulling Peter into a bone crushing hug.

Peter stands still for a moment, taken back by the unexpected hug, but eventually wraps his arms around Tony's torso and melts into the embrace.

After a few seconds, Tony starts whispering so only Peter can hear. "There's a load of wrapping paper on the ground and four easy targets sitting behind me."

"Ambush?" Peter whispers back, trying his best to keep his face neutral so Sam, Bucky, Steve, and Natasha don't suspect anything.

"Ambush. On three. One.... two... _three!"_ Tony and Peter push away from eachother, gathering armfuls of torn wrapping paper and launching them at their teammates sitting on the couch.

Steve is the first one to get up, throwing wrapping paper back at the duo as quickly as it it flies at him. Soon enough, the other three join him and there's a full wrapping paper war going on in the common room.

"Woah woah woah, I didn't know I'd be walking into a war zone on Christmas!" Scott shouts over the chaos when he enters the common room, ducking as a few pieces of wrapping paper whiz past him.

"Scott! You're on our team! You, me, and dad!" Peter shouts, not even noticing his slip up at first. Not until he's the only one still throwing wrapping paper.

"What? What's wro- oh. Oh shit. No, no, no. I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry Tony. I didn't- I didn't want to- I didn't mean to- It's just- When my parents- We used to- And-" Peter cuts himself off, tears falling down his cheeks. Before Tony can snap himself out of his shock and reply, Peter is running across the common room and disappearing into the elevator.

Tony looks around at the others in the room, his eyes wild and confused and filled with what could only be described as utter despair and desperation. All they can do is look back at him, just as lost as he is.

"Tony, he didn't- He went down. He didn't go to the roof. I think he might be leaving the compound," Scott breaks the thick silence, watching the buttons above the elevator light up.

"Friday?" Steve says, trying to get confirmation. Hoping there wouldn't be any.

"I can confirm, sir. He left the grounds approximately fourty five seconds ago and I'm no longer able to track him. He doesn't have his phone or any other device on him."

Tony looks over at Steve, sinking to his knees. His voice laced with nothing but complete hopelessness, he whispers, "we lost the kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very good at writing angst, but I hope this is good!  
> Before people get mad and tell me "but Peter isn't ready for Tony to be his dad!" remember that there will be more chapters and an explanation to come :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey is the only Avenger with braincells

* * *

Everyone searches for hours. By the end of the night, they have the entire team looking for Peter. Even Thor and Valkyrie have come down from Asgard to help look.

They've searched everywhere. The entirety of New York. Every city, town, forest, backyard, and field has been invaded by one Avenger or another.

By the afternoon of the next day, Tony has just about lost all hope. They can't find his kid anywhere.

Until, being the only one with half a brain, Rhodey goes and talks to Ned and Mj. Mj has no clue where Peter would be. He knows Peter used to hide out in one of the labs at school when his anxiety got bad, but Natasha had already searched the entire building.

Ned is way more helpful than him. "Have you looked in his old apartment yet?"

"Why would he be there?"

"He's been going there almost everytime he goes out as Spiderman, dude- Uh, Mister War Machine, sir. I know because he keeps asking me to make him extra keys because he keeps losing his."

Rhodey thanks Ned and quickly walks out of the apartment, calling Tony. "Hey, where are you right now?"

"Searching Queens again."

"I think I might know where Peter is."

\------

"Peter? Kid? Are you in there?" Tony calls through the door of Peter's apartment, knocking softly. Peter doesn't reply or open the door, but Tony can hear shuffling from inside the apartment.

"Kid, I can hear you. I know you're in there. You know I'm not mad at you, right? Remember what I said? That I could never hate you, or even be angry at you? I just want to talk to you. Please let me in."

Inside the empty apartment, Peter leans against the door. He still doesn't answer. Doesn't let Tony in.

"Okay. That's okay. I'll talk and you listen.... I'm not upset at you for what you said. Not at all. I know you said you weren't ready for this, but I've been ready for a really long time. And I'll let you in on a little secret, okay? I've always wanted to be a dad. For as long as I can remember. All I wanted was a kid so I could show someone the love that my dad never gave me. And the rest of the team knows that too. I think that's why they started calling me your dad. Maybe so you'd start doing it too. I don't know. But, yknow, I understand if you're not ready. I really do. I still remember what we talked about when I wanted to adopt you, and if you still feel that way I'm okay with that. I'm not going to be upset with you if you don't want to call me dad, and I'm not going to be upset if you do. I want you to do whatever will make you happy, Peter. But if that's locking yourself away in an empty apartment with no food or water, I can't allow that. You're going to starve yourself to death and I can't let you do that. I'm going to leave now, because you clearly don't want me here, but if you're not back at the compound in two days, or with Ned or Mj, I'm coming to get you. Even if it means I have to blast these doors down and drag you out."

Peter considers letting Tony in. Telling him everything. How he's feeling. Why he's feeling it. Why he said what he did. Everything. But in the end, he can't. He's scared.

"Okay... Please come back to the compound soon, Kid. Everyone already misses you. They all love you more than you know."

Peter can hear the unspoken words. The small message Tony left unsaid. He waits until Tony's footsteps are no longer echoing down the hallway before sliding down the door and onto the floor. "I love you too," he whispers, burying his face between his knees.

\-----

"Hey man, it's Ned. Mj's here too but he's waiting in the lobby. He didn't want to overwhelm you. Just wondering if you wanted to go out with us today? He's going to some protest and he invited us... We could make signs and stuff like we usually do. We don't even have to go if you don't want to! We could just go to my place and hangout. Maybe talk about what happened if you want to. Or not! That's fine too! We can just play video games or something." When Ned is met with nothing but silence, he lets out a deep sigh.

"C'mon, Peter. We don't have to go anywhere. Just let me in and talk to me. I'm not leaving. I can even send Mj away if you want. Or I can leave and have him come up instead. Just...we want to make sure you're okay. Plus, you know I have a key."

Peter doesn't reply, but he walks across the empty living room and unlocks the door. He steps back while Ned slowly pushes it open, smiling softly at Peter. "Hey Peter."

"Hey."

"You want me to go get Mj or just have it be us for now?"

"You can get him."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

Ned disappears through the door again, reappearing a minute or so later with Mj behind him.

"Hey dipshit, you scared us! Do you know how scary it is for War Machine to knock on your door and tell you your best friend is missing? Especially when your best friend is an idiot superhero that could be seriously injured?!" Mj pulls Peter in for a tight hug, surprising everyone once again.

"Sorry Mikey," Peter mumbles, resting his chin on his friends shoulder and appreciating the small amount of physical affection Mj is willing to give.

Mj pulls away a few seconds later, swatting Peter's shoulder. "Definitely not worried anymore. Don't call me that."

"What, Mikey? What would you prefer? Jamie?" Peter asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up. Call me Mj or I'll floor you."

"Mikey it is!" Peter grins at Mj, already feeling so much better just by the presence of his two best friends.

Now Peter turns to Ned, holding his hand out so they can do their handshake. Ned grins, holding his hand out as well.

"God, you guys are such geeks. Now, c'mon Peter, spill. What the hell has you hiding out in this empty apartment that you're definitely not allowed to be in," Mj says, sinking to the floor and leaning against one of the walls.

Peter and Ned join him on the floor, sitting in a small circle. "I called Tony my dad."

"You _what?!"_ Mj and Ned shout in unison, their eyes widening.

"So why are you here instead of with your dad? What's so bad about this? He technically is your dad, isn't he?" Ned asks, leaning back on his hands and spreading his legs out in front of him.

"I'm just- He's _not_ my dad. He didn't raise me. Aunt May did."

"Peter, he doesn't have to raise you for him to be your dad. My biodad 'raised' me until I was nine but he was never my dad. Since he died, my step dad is the one who has taken care of me. The one that has actually payed attention to me. He's the one I choose to call dad," Mj explains. He pushes his legs out in front of him, pressing them against Neds.

"Woah woah woah, step dad? You had a different dad? What? How did that happen? Why didn't we know about it?" Ned asks, nudging Mj's foot slightly.

"My biodad died. My dad's soulmate decided not to be with him, and he eventually found my mom. It's not my fault you didn't ask."

"Damn, Mj. Your life is more interesting  interesting than I thought!"

Mj scoffs, kicking Ned in the shin. "What's that supposed to mean, dickwad?" 

"Mmm, nothing. Nothing. Don't worry about it." 

Peter sits back, a small smile on his face while he watches them banter. He eventually extends his legs, pressing his feet against both of his friends and completing the small cicle. 

"So, Peter, that doesn't tell us why you're hiding out here," Ned says when the conversation finally dies out.

"I already told you why."

"No, you told us what happened. You didn't tell us why you're choosing to hide and sulk instead of talking to your dad- Oh, quit it, you big baby. He _is_ your dad, technically. You know that, somewhere in that thick skull of yours, otherwise you wouldn't have slipped up like you did. Part of you _wants_ to call him dad, Peter." Mj draws his feet back towards his body, sitting up straighter. "This is serious, Peter. It's not something you can just avoid."

"I _know,_ Mikey. But he's letting me avoid it so that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"Tell me, Peter, what do you have with you right now? You don't have your phone. You don't have your wallet. So what does that leave you? The clothes on your back and the key to this apartment?" Mj asks. "Yeah. That's what I thought. So what are you gonna do when you get hungry? Get tired of sleeping on a hard floor without a blanket or pillow? Where are you going to go? Because you're not staying at my house and you're not staying at Ned's house- No, Ned. Don't even try to protest. If he stays at your house he'll just stay as long he can so he can avoid this longer. I'm not letting him do that."

"C'mon, Mj. I'll talk to him eventually. Just- Just not right now. In a few days," Peter mutters, staring at his shoes to avoid Mj's intense gaze.

"Oh, what's that? Do you hear something? Oh, it sounds like I'm calling someone! Who, you ask? None other than your dad, Tony Stark! How do I have his number? Well, he was so worried about you that he gave it to both Ned and I so we could call him if we found you. That's how much he cares about you! And- Oops, he answered. Here Peter!" Mj tosses his phone to Peter, crossing his arms and never letting his eyes leave Peter's face.

Peter fumbles for the phone, his eyes wide. "Mj! Wha- But- No! I! Ugh! Uh, yeah, hi. It's Peter," Peter says softly into the phone.

"Yeah- No, I'm fine. Really. Mj, he...he made me call you. Yeah. It's nothing. Seriously, it's okay. I'll come home- Er, I'll go back to the compound soon. I promise. Yeah. Okay, I will. Yeah. No- I- Please don't. I'll find my own way back. No, I don't need Happy to come. Really, I'll be fine. Stop worrying, okay? I'm fine. I'm with Ned and Mj. I told you I'll be back soon. Tomorrow, probably. Okay. Yes, I promise! Bye." Peter hangs up the call, frowning. 

"Was that really so hard?" Mj asks, grabbing his phone back from Peter.

"Yes. Yes, it was. Jesus, Mj, that was scary. Like, actually scary. Fuck, man, look at my hands. I'm shaking. God, I kinda dislike you right now. Hmph," Peter slumps backwards, laying down on the floor and staring up at the ceiling. In his peripheral vision, he sees Ned and Mj lay down on either side of him.

"He sounded really scared on the call, Peter. I think...I mean, you should go back sooner than tomorrow. Maybe, like, now?" Ned suggests, turning his head to look at Peter.

"I dunno, Ned. I don't think I can."

"You can't or you don't want to? Because you seem to mix those two words up a lot. Peter, man, I love you to death, but this is a real problem you have. You always avoid serious discussions because you're scared. And I get it, I do. Your anxiety gets bad. I get it because I have anxiety too and I'm the same way. But you _really_ need to talk about this, no matter how scared you are. "

"Ned..."

"Peter I'm not joking this time."

"Fine. Alright. I'll go back in a few hours," Peter says, exasperated.

"How are you gonna get all the way back?" Mj asks, sitting up and adjusting his position so he can lay his head down on Peters stomach instead of the hardwood floor.

"Walk. I walked out here. Got an Uber for part of it because I wanted a head start but I walked most of it."

"You're not walking. I'll call Kristie to come pick us up and she can drop you off," Ned says, sitting up and tugging his shoes on. Peter didn't realise he had taken them off.

"I can't just have someone drive me to the _Avengers Base,_ Ned. There's a reason I walked most of the way and got the Uber closer to the city."

"You wanna borrow my bike? I can get a ride home with whoever Kristie is because now Ned definitely has to call her," Mj says. He's pulling his shoes back on too, and again, Peter hadn't even noticed they were off.

"No, it's really fine. I'm walking."

"Kristie could drive you half way and-"

"Ned, really. I want to walk, okay? It'll give me time to prepare."

Ned, still looking apprehensive, nodded. "Fine. But text me when you're back so I know you're okay. And then call us when you guys are done talking."

"Of course I will. You don't even have to ask. Bye, man." Peter and Ned do their handshake and then Ned walks out of the apartment, leaving Mj and Peter alone.

For the third time in just a few days, Mj hugs Peter. "A third hug? You're getting soft, Michael," Peter jokes to ignore the tight ball of what can only be described as butterflies building in his stomach.

"Shut up. Hey, call me after you're done talking to your dad, alright? After you're done telling Ned about it, too."

"We can do a group facetime-"

"No, I need to talk to you about something. Alone."

"Mj, you're being really cryptic and kinda freaky and-"

"C'mon Peter, please? Just promise you'll call?" Mj's voice is soft now. Softer than Peter has ever heard it before. No sarcasm. No annoyance. He's just... talking. Almost, but not quite, _pleading_. And how could Peter say no to that?

Frowning slightly and trying really hard not to be worried about his friend, Peter nods. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll call. Promise."

"Cool. Thanks. See you later, loser." The soft tone Mj had used moments before was gone, dissappearing behind a thick wall of sarcasm and fake nonchalance.

Peter watches him leave the room, scared for everything that he's facing in the upcoming hours. How was he going to talk to Tony? What would he say? Would he accept Tony's offer to adopt him? Would he still say he's not ready? And what was going on with Mj? Why is he being so soft all of the sudden? Is he okay? What does he want to talk about? Did Peter do something wrong? Did someone else do something to Mj? And what did Ned mean when he said he had anxiety? He had never mentioned that before.

There were so many thoughts flying around Peter's head and he couldn't keep track of them all...so he didn't. He closed his mind off and walked out of the apartment. But, instead of heading back towards the compound, he walked towards the cemetery Aunt May was buried in. They were long overdue for a talk.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! sorry this chapter took a bit longer than expected. I hope it was worth the wait.  
> Just want to say that updates will probably be coming much less frequently from now on. It's currently September 1st, and I start my first day of highschool on September 3rd. Between School, Band, Choir, and Stagecraft I won't have a whole lot of time for writing. Im going to do my best to have biweekly, or maybe even weekly updates though! But I don't make any promises


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter comes back

 

 

* * *

When the elevator doors part, the first thing Peter sees is Tony curled up on the couch, staring blankly at a television screen that isn't even on.

Bucky and Steve are across the room, cuddled up in an arm chair. They speak to eachother in low voices, occasionally sending worried glances towards Tony.

No one notices Peter standing anxiously by the elevator. He stands there and waits. And waits. And waits. He doesn't want to have to make the first move. But, alas, no one notices him. They're too caught up in their own thoughts, conversations, and anxietys. He eventually walks fully into the room and sits down on the couch, keeping a whole cushion of space between him and Tony.

Tony finally looks away from the blank television screen, his shocked gaze now focused entirely on Peter. "You're back."

"I'm back."

Bucky and Steve sit in awkward silence, waiting for something to happen. When it's clear neither Tony or Peter are going to say anything, Steve untangles himself from Bucky and walks over to Peter. He pulls the teenager off the couch, hugging him tightly. "We missed you, kid. You really worried us. Do me a favor and don't scare the shit out of us like that again, okay?"

Peter nods, awkwardly returning the hug. Hugging Steve is always awkward for Peter. It's not because he doesn't like Steve. He does. It's because Steve is so _big._ Hes a good four or five inches taller than Peter, and he's way more muscular. It's almost hard for Peter to get his arms all the way around Steve.

Bucky doesn't hug Peter, but he gives a speech similar to Steves. As far as Peter can tell, Bucky has never really been one for physical affection with anyone except for Steve, so he's not surprised about the hug.

"You guys must have a lot to talk about, so we're gonna go..." Steve trails off and turns to leave the room, but Tony stops him.

"No, it's okay. We're gonna go somewhere else. You guys can stay." Tony stands up and walks out of the common room, not waiting to make sure Peter is following.

Peter _was_ following, obviously. He considered staying in the common room with Steve and Bucky and ignoring the whole thing, but that thought exited his head as quickly as it had entered.

When Tony stopped walking, Peter lifted his gaze from his shoes to figure out where they were. In front of hin, Tony was standing next to the open door way of the super-secret-not-that-secret galaxy room that he had brought Peter to a few months prior.

Peter stood still for a few moments, just staring at Tony. It wasn't until Tony motioned for him to enter the room that he started shuffling forward. He wasn't even fully aware that he was moving. His feet were moving forward, but his brain still felt like it was back in the apartment with Ned and Mj.

When Peter was settled on the floor next to Tony's armchair, Tony spoke up. "We have to talk about this."

"I know."

"You want to start?"

"Not really."

"Er, okay..." Tony trailed off for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "Well, first of all, you can't just run off like that. For any reason. If you need space, I'm okay with you going to your room or the roof or in here or even the lab if you promise to be careful. I won't bug you if you tell me not to. But you can't run off and tell no one where you are. If you really _desperately_ need to get away from the compound, you have to tell someone where you're going. I don't care if that's Ned, Mj, me, or someone on the team, but someone needs to know. I don't want to be one of those really overbearing and super protective parents, but I just need to know that you're safe Peter. With that article a few months ago about the 'mysterious teenage boy seen with Tony Stark,' I can't take any chances. People will go to extreme lengths to get their fifteen minutes of fame, and that might lead to someone hurting you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. I get it."

"Okay, good. Now, uh, I guess we need to talk about what you said? Why you said it? How you're feeling? I dunno. What's gonna make this easiest for you? Do you want me to ask you questions and then you can answer? Or do you want me to shut up so you can talk? Or... "

"Just, uhm, ask questions? That'd work." Peter shifts from his position leaning against the wall to laying down on his back, staring up at the star covered ceiling.

"Okay...How are you feeling about it? About what you said?"

"I dunno. Not great, obviously."

"Kid, you need to give me more than that. We need to actually talk about this and figure out what to do," Tony says with a deep sigh.

"Okay, fine. I feel shitty. I know, maybe somewhere, that I'm ready to call you... yknow... but the bigger part of me feels like- I dunno. Like I'm not ready. Like I'm not ready to give up Aunt May yet. But I also know I'm not really 'giving her up' by doing this...it's complicated."

Tony scoffs at that, nodding. "Complicated is the understatement of the century. So, uh, do you know _why_ you said it?"

"Mj said it's because part of me knows I'm ready. I dunno if he's right or not. I think I just...I don't know. When we were having the wrapping paper fight, it felt a lot like what I used to do when I was little. It's one of the few memories I still have of my parents. Pillow fights and wrapping paper fights and just screwing around on Christmas. The holidays just bring back all those feelings, yknow? I think I just felt nostalgic or something. Wanting to bring those days back."

"Let's say you, er, slipped up like that again. Called me Dad. Would you freak out like you did yesterday?"

"Maybe. I don't know. Maybe a less severe freak out."

"Do you think you could ever get to a point where you don't freak out at all?"

"Probably."

"Do you _want_ to get to that point?"

"I dunno."

"Peter."

"I don't know!"

" _Peter."_

"Ugh! Kind of? I don't know! Partially?"

"Okay. That's a better answer than I was expecting. That's good. I- uh- I don't know what to ask next..."

So, Peter asks the next question instead. "If I- If I did call you.... uh... Dad, you wouldn't be mad, right? If I, yknow, slipped up again."

"No. No, Not at all. Didn't you hear what I said outside of your apartment?"

Peter nods slightly, thinking back to it. "But did you actually mean all of that? I mean, you said you couldn't stay mad at me or hate me and thats-"

"I meant all of it, Kid. Every word of it."

Peter lets out a small sigh at that, sitting up and leaning against the side of Tony's armchair. Tony let's his hand hang over the edge of the chair and ruffles Peter's hair a bit, earning a small huff in reply.

"You okay, Kid?"

"Yeah. I am. I will be. I dunno. I'm fine."

"Peter..."

"I'm okay, really."

Tony sighs, slumping over in his chair.  "If you're not, that's okay. Peter-"

"I'm okay! I'm okay. I'm okay. I told you, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay-" Peter doesn't know what happened. He _was_ okay. They were just talking. That's all. He was fine. But now- Now he can't breath. Can't think. He thinks he's crying because his vision is blurry, but he can't feel the tears on his cheeks. His face feels numb. He reaches up to tug at his hair, but it causes no pain.

Tony quickly slides out of the chair and onto the floor, reaching out to gather Peter in his arms but pulling back at the last second. He knows touching people while they're having a panic attack can make things worse, but what else is he supposed to do right now? There's nothing in this room but a chair.

When he goes to pull back, though, Peter reaches out and grabs his arm, clinging to him tightly. "I can't- I don't- Help. Help. Help help help. I'm not- Please. Please help please please-"

Now Tony doesn't hesitate to pull Peter close to him, rocking him back and forth slightly. "Shhh, it's okay. You're gonna be okay. I'm right here. It's okay."

Peter sobs into Tonys shoulder, grabbing bunches of the back of Tony's shirt in his fist to try and alleviate the shaking of his hands.

Tony continues to rub Peters back softly, murmuring soothing words all the while. Tony isn't sure how long it took for Peter to calm down, but his legs are numb and his arms are starting to fall asleep by the time Peter is finally able to stop crying.

He untangles himself from Tony, collapsing back against the armchair. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- Didn't want to-" Peter cuts himself with a groan, burying his face in his hands.

"Hey, you're okay. Take a break. No need to get yourself worked up again," Tony says softly, placing a steady hand on Peters shoulder.

They sit there like that for a while until Peter is composed enough to speak properly without breaking down in tears. "I'm okay now."

"Really? Because that's what you said earlier but then you started sobbing, so I'm not sure if I can just take your word for it anymore."

"I _am_ okay. I just...need to think. About all of this. Alone."

"Okay. In here? Do you want me to leave?"

"No, I'll go to my room, it's okay."

"Okay. That's okay. Grab something to eat before you go to bed, alright?"

"I will. Thank you." With one swift movement, Peter is off the floor and out of the room.

Tony is left on the floor, staring helplessly after him. He wants to help. He wants to fix whatevers going on and make sure Peter is happy. He wants to help so badly.

But he can't. He can't do anything. He's done all Peter will let him do for now, and he has to accept that fact. He has to live with that for the time being, no matter how hard it is.

With a sigh, Tony pushes himself off the floor with a small groan. His entire body hurts from being on the floor that long. He's not old, but he's definitely not as young as he used to be and it's really starting to show.

He shuts the door to the Galaxy Room softly behind him when he exits and then heads towards the common room. The closer he gets, the clearer everyone's voices are. He thinks he can hear Natasha, Bucky, Steve, and Sam talking in low voices.

Tony stops just outside the doorway, listening in on their conversation. He doesn't _mean_ to eavesdrop, but he hears his name and can't resist.

"Do you think he'll be okay? I mean, he seemed pretty freaked out."

"Peter? Or Tony?"

"Both. Do any of us know why Peter freaked out so bad?"

"Maybe he thought Tony would be mad?"

"I thought we made it clear that he'd be fine with being called dad."

"Well, yeah, we weren't exactly subtle, but we didn't spell it out for him. Did Tony ever actually refer to himself as his dad? Or call him his son? He may not have put the pieces together if it didn't come from Tony himself."

"Did Tony tell anyone what Peter said when he asked to adopt him?"

"Oh! Right! I heard him talking to Rhodey about that. I think it was something along the lines of being scared he was replacing his aunt and uncle so he wasn't ready yet? Wasn't that months ago, though? Shouldn't he be ready by now?"

Tony's done listening to them. "He'll be ready whenever he's ready and that's all we need to know. It's his pace and decision, not ours," he says when he finally steps into the room.

Everyone turns towards the doorway at the sound of Tony's voice. They all look sheepish, fiddling with sleeves or jewelry or rubbing the back of their necks.

"Yes, I was listening to you talk about me. It's your own fault for doing it in the common room instead of a private place. Now, I'm going to my room, but..." Tony trails off for a second, tapping a few things on his phone. "I've just told Friday to record what's said in any room of this place and I can play all of it back tomorrow morning, so stop talking about stuff that isn't your business. I don't want the kid to overhear any of you talking like that. Got it?"

The four of them nod or offer small sounds of understanding. "Good. Did Peter get something to eat before he went to his room?"

"No, he poked his head in to say hi but didn't go into the kitchen at all. Went straight to his room," Steve answers.

"Can someone make him a sandwich or something? I'd do it but he said he needed space to think, and I think that means specifically space from me."

"Of course. I'll do it right now and bring it down to him. Don't worry about it. I'll check on him later tonight too and see if he wants to talk about anything. You can go to your room and get some rest. It's been a hard few days and you could really use a break," Natasha says, already walking into the kitchen.

"Thanks guys. Get me if there's an emergency or whatever. Friday should alert me for most things, but if she doesn't you know where I'll be. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget it's your day to cook breakfast, Steve."   
Tony doesn't stick around to hear everyone's reply. He just leaves the room, heading down the hall to his bedroom.

Natasha's right - he definitely needs some sleep after the events of the last few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy! not sure how long it's been since the last chapter, but hopefully you guys didn't get too impatient.  
> I've officially finished my first week as a freshman! it was hectic, but thank god I had time to write.  
> This may not be the best chapter because I was rushing to get it done, but I hope you enjoy it anyways


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter calls Mj.

* * *

 

 

Peters sitting at his desk, anxiously tapping his pen against his thigh. His computer sits open in front of him, Mj's Skype profile displayed on the screen.

He texted Mj that he was ready to talk, but Mj said he was busy and would call in a few minutes. Peter isn't sure what classifies as "a few" minutes. He feels like its been way more than "a few," but hes probably being dramatic. In reality, its been about four minutes.

When the clock finally hits 8:48, Peter's computer screen lights up and the annoyingly loud skype ringtone fills the room. Peter lifts a shaking hand and accepts the call.

"Hey, dude, why do you look so freaked out? What's up?" Is the first thing Mj says when Peter accepts the call, studying Peters pixelated face.

"Me? Freaked out? I'm not freaked out. I'm fine. What's up with _you?_ Why'd you want to call anyways?"

"Damn, no need to get all defensive. You just looked nervous, that's all. I- Uh, okay I'm not really sure how to say this? Maybe I should wait and tell you in person, I don't think-"

"No way. Who knows the next time we'll be able to see eachother? It's best to do it now. Because I might start going on missions. Tony might start getting super over protective again if the press sees me with him and writes more articles. I might get injured and have to stay in bed all day. Steve might-"

Mj cuts Peter off, tired of his anxious rambling and just wanting to get this over with. "Peterwe'resoulmates!" He spews out as quickly as he can, slowly sinking down out of view of the camera as soon as he's done.

"WE'RE _W_ _HAT_?"

"Soulmates?" Mj shifts just enough so his curly hair is peeking up on the bottom of Peter's screen.

"Soulmates? We're soul-soulmates? How do you know? Oh my god, you were the one that got to watch me? When? Oh jeeze that's embarrassing. How did I not notice you being completely off the grid for weeks? Shouldn't I have seen you when you appeared?" Peter looks down when he feels liquid on his hand, watching blood mix with ink. He must have hit the pen too hard and snapped it in half, cutting his palm and spilling ink all over his hand and jeans.

"Yeah. Uh, I watched you, I guess. It was when you had first come to the compound. A few days after you called Ned to tell him everything that was going on. I was- I was in the middle of class and just... pulled out of my body. And I ended up here. In your bedroom. And when the weeks were over I appeared when you were in the shower. I was lucky enough to be, uh, outside the shower curtain. And I just snuck out."

"God, Mikey, that was forever ago. You've known this long and you're just now telling me?" Peter is feeling a lot of things right now. There are so many things he wants to say. But all he can seem to do is focus on the fact that they've seen eachother, _talked_ to eachother so many times since then, and Mj just acted like everything was perfectly normal.

"I was scared, Peter! Not all soulmates get together, you know. My parents- They didn't- They hated eachother. I was scared that, maybe, you wouldn't want to.... I don't know. What _do_ you think about this?" Mj slowly adjusts so he's back in view of the camera. His face is flushed and he looks near tears.

"Mj are you okay?"

"Fuck, Peter, I'm fine. Just- Just tell me what you think of all of this."

"God, uhm, okay? I thought it would be kinda obvious. Fuck, um, this is hard to say ugh. I've uh, I guess, I've- I've been- I've had a crush on you since like, uhm, eighth grade? So this isn't- It's like- I've wanted it for a while??" It comes out as a question. Like he wants Mj to tell him how to feel instead of making him figure it out on his own.

"Oh, thank fuck. Okay. That's good. Okay," Mj let's out a deep breath, tangling his hands in his hair and pushing stray curls away from his face.

"Do you, uh, wanna come over? I can go ask Tony. Happy and I could come pick you up."

"Really? Uh, yeah sure. That'd be cool."

Peter smiles now, his initial anxiety starting to disappear. Mj gives a small, shaky smile in return.

"Cool, I'll text you when we're close."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

"See you in a bit." With that, Peter ends the call. As soon as his computer is shut, Peter bolts across the hall to Tony's room. He throws open the door without knocking.

"Tony! You won't believe this! Mj-" Peter cuts himself off and slowly backs out of the room when he realizes Tony is sleeping. That's fine, he knows Tony needs the sleep after everything Peter put him through. He could wait to tell him.

He wanders down the hallways at a slower pace now, eventually making it to the common room. Steve, Bucky, Sam, Natasha and Scott are all smashed together on the couch watching some old movie Peter doesn't recognize. When Scott spots him hovering in the doorway, he reaches for the remote to pause the movie.

"Hey, Peter! Glad you're back, you had us all pretty worried. You need something?"

"Hi Scott. Uhm, yes, actually. Does anyone know where Happy is?"

"He got the night off. Worked overtime yesterday. You need a ride somewhere? My motorcycle fits two people," Steve says.

" _Or_ we can take my car where people won't see you with another well known superhero," Scott cuts in.

"Uh, either one works fine."

"Where are you going so late at night anyways, Peter? You got a hot date?" Sam asks.

Peter doesn't say anything, but his beat red face is answer enough. "Holy shit, you totally do! Who is it? Is it that pretty girl on your nerd team? What's her name... Liz? Oh! Is it that girl at the sandwich shop you told me about? Or, uh, the girl-"

"It's Mj," Peter cuts Scott off, starting to get annoyed.

"Oh damn, didn't see that coming."

"Shut up, Scott. You're like... the only one who didn't see it coming. C'mon, kid, I'll give you a ride," Steve says, already standing up.

"Well, uh, actually, I need something that can fit three people? We're going to pick up Mj."

"I'll give you a ride, my car is probably nicer than Scotts anyways. Let's go," Sam stands up and pulls his jacket off a hook by the elevator. He presses the button for the elevator and steps inside, waiting for Peter to join him before letting it close.

The doors slide shut after a moment, and the two of them are left in slightly awkward silence. Sam and Peter haven't really talked much or spent any time alone together. They don't talk much, or at all, on the trip to Mj's house either.

When Sam parks in front of Mj's apartment complex, Peter thanks him quietly and slides out of the car to go get Mj. He hesitates outside of the door for a few minutes before raising his hand and knocking.

Mj opens it almost immediately, anxiously fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater. He's a good two inches taller than Peter, but in this moment he's never felt smaller.

"Hey Peter," he whispers, pushing a few loose curls away from his eyes.

"Hey Mj. You uh, you look nice."

"You...well, you kinda look like shit. Were you crying?" Mj gets a bit closer to Peter, studying his appearance.

"What?! No! I mean, yes, but it was when I was talking to Tony. Crap," Peter lifts his hands and presses his palms into his eyes, rubbing them harshly.

"Hey, calm down, you look fine. It's okay. C'mon, let's get out of here." Mj tugs on Peter's wrists, pulling them away from his face.

Peter looks away from Mj, trying to hide his red cheeks. "Uh, Sam is outside waiting for us. He gave me a ride."

"Sam's Falcon, right?"

"Yeah. God, I'm so glad you're my soulmate and not Ned or something. You're way more chill about all of this than he is. I think he would have passed out if I told him Falcon was waiting outside to give us a ride," Peter says, starting the walk down to the main floor with Mj close behind him.

"He's a geek, he can't help it."

Peter let's out a small laugh at that, smiling over his shoulder at Mj. He's not sure why he's so nervous. It's just Mj. It's not like he's suddenly a different person because he's Peter's soulmate.

When they get down to the car, Mj slides in first. "Hey, I'm Mj," he says, leaning between the two front seats to talk to Sam.

"Sam."

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for the ride."

"'Course."

No one talks for a while after that, the only sound being the radio.  
"How did it go with... yknow, the whole thing?" Mj eventually asks, breaking the awkward silence.

"It was, uh, better than I expected, I guess."

"You say that but it's still painfully obvious that you cried quite a bit."

"What? No, I- I didn't- Shut up," Peter grumbles, turning towards the window.

"But really, what happened? I noticed you're still calling him Tony."

"Nothing, really. He told me I can't run off without telling anyone. I told him why I said it, he said it'd be fine if I said it again, I had a stupid panic attack, and then I left and called Ned."

"You had another panic attack? Peter..."

"What do you mean another? I never told you- Oh. Right."

"You had so many just in the few weeks I was watching you. Have you talked to anyone about them?" Mj reaches over to set his hand on top of Peters, but Peter pulls his hand off the seat and sets it in his lap.

"No. I don't need to. I'm fine."

Mj looks skeptical, but doesn't push the issue. It's very clearly a touchy subject. "Okay."

The rest of the ride to the compound is relatively silent. Mj is afraid to get snapped at again, and Peter doesn't want to say anything until he apologizes, but he can't figure out how to.

When they get into the compound, Peter just wants to go to his room and hang out alone. Mj has other plans.

"I could hear your stomach growling in the car. Go get food," he says, pushing Peter into the kitchen.

"Do you want anything?" Peter asks before he steps into the kitchen.

"No. Just make yourself something. I already ate." Mj walks away now, flopping onto the couch between Steve and the armrest. He had already met everyone on Christmas Eve, but he reintroduced himself anyways. He was kinda expecting everyone to have forgotten about him. None of them had.

So they all sat and talked for a bit, waiting for Peter to finish making his food. When he comes back into the common room, Scott suggests they all play Mario Kart, since Mj claimed to be a fair match for Peter and they all wanted to see it for themselves.

"Uhm, I was actually wondering if we could just go to my room and hang out? Alone?"

"What, you scared I'm gonna beat you, Parker?" Mj teases.

"No- It's just- Mj- Please?" Peter's voice is quiet and his knuckles white from gripping the plate in his hands so tightly to try to hide the shaking.

Mj's expression turns soft and he nods, pushing himself off the couch. "Sorry, guys. I guess we'll have to take a raincheck on that game."

"Hey, keep the door open, alright?" Steve calls after them.

Peter stops in his tracks, frowning. "What do you mean? Why?"

"Its just- Uh- Well- Ask Tony. It was his rule."

"He's asleep, Steve."

"Ask him tomorrow."

"If he's not awake to enforce the rule I don't have to follow it."

"Peter, you need to keep the door open."

"Tell me why."

"It was Tony's rule, I don't know why!"

"No it's not. He doesn't even know Mj is here. It's your rule."

"Because...because you're a teenager! And teenagers do things!"

"What? Oh my god, you mean like... _oh my god._ We're not going to- Oh my god. I'm going now." Peter bolts down the hallway, a deep blush rising up his neck. When he gets to his room, Mj is sitting on the floor at the end of the bed.

Peter shuts the door softly behind him, joining Mj on the floor. "We could sit on the bed, you know."   
Mj simply shrugs, pulling at loose strands of the carpet.

"Mikey? Are you okay?"

Mj shakes his head, dismissing the topic. "Are _you_ okay? Why were you shaking so much back there? And why were you arguing? I've never seen you even raise your voice at anyone."

"I'm fine. There's just... a lot going on. That's all. A bit overwhelming to deal with all of it," Peter mumbles, taking a small bite of his sandwich.

Mj stares at Peter for a moment and then turns his gaze back to his lap. "Did you really, uh, like me? For that long?" he asks softly. The question takes Peter by surprise. Well, actually, all of this surprises him. Mj is being so...soft with him. Soft voice, soft gaze, soft touches. It's so out of character for him.

Peter takes another bite of his sandwich to avoid answering the question for a bit longer. "I mean, yeah? I really like you. Always have. I dunno...I just kinda assumed you were straight so I never said anything."

"You thought I was straight? _Me?"_ Mj snorts softly, shaking his head. "You really are oblivious, Peter."

"Shut- Shut up," Peter grumbles, focusing his gaze on his now empty plate to hide scarlet face.

"You blush a lot."

"Wha- Huh??"

"You blush like, all the time. Does _everything_ make you flustered?" Mj asks, nudging Peter's knee softly with his.

"N-no. I don't...I don't blush _that_ much."

"So...yes. Good to know. You wanna watch a movie or something?" Mj stands up and flops onto Peters bed, finally feeling comfortable. He was so nervous earlier and he really couldn't understand why. He had known Peter was his soulmate this whole time and he hadn't been acting any different, so he wasn't sure why this had to be weird. They're the same as they always were but now there's the possibility of them maybe doing couple-y stuff. That's nothing Mj can't handle.

"Sure. I'm just gonna put my plate in the dishwasher and then I'll be back. The remote is in that drawer if you wanna pick something out while you wait." With that, Peter leaves the room, leaving Mj alone.

He only has about thirty seconds to flip through movies before Peter is back in the room.

"Jesus, did you sprint the whole way? There's no way you could have done that so quickly by walking," Mj says, scooting over on the bed to make room for Peter.

Peter shrugs, walking over to his closet. "Do you need, uh, pajamas? I think I have a few pairs that'll fit you..." he trails off, digging through drawers and racks.

Mj doesn't have to reply, because before he does, Peter is already throwing pajama pants and a shirt out of the closet at him.

Peter changes in the closet, not fully comfortable changing in front of Mj, but Mj doesn't care. He has a nice body and he knows it. He wouldn't say it outloud, but he still knows it. If Peter sees him changing, so be it. And, if he maybe _wants_ Peter to see, no one has to know.

When Peter steps out of the closet clad in Ironman pajama pants and a Captain America shirt, Mj is standing in the middle of the room, wearing nothing but boxers.

Peter let's out a small, panicked sound and ducks back into the closet. _Since when does Mj have abs?!_

After a few moments, Mj calls through the closet door, "you can come out now."

Peter, his face more red than ever, steps out of the closet with his gaze heavily focused on his sock covered feet. Mj laughs, shaking his head softly. It's so damn easy to make Peter flustered. He's going to have a lot of fun with that.

"You okay with horror movies?" Mj asks, flipping slowly through the horror section of Netflix.

No, Peter is definitely not okay with horror movies. They _terrify_ him. Yeah, he fights crime everyday. He's seen real life aliens on Earth. He's seen and done a lot of things, but none of it compares to the shit they put in horror movies. The original IT movie gave him nightmares for weeks. "Yeah, that's fine," he says, climbing onto the bed next to Mj. No its not. Why did he say that. It's not fine.

"Have you seen the Possession Of Hannah Grace yet?" Mj asks.

"No. It looks good." No it doesn't. No it doesn't. The previews gave him nightmares. It most definitely does not look good.

"Cool, we'll watch that then."

Yeah, cool. Definitely cool. Peter's going to make a fool of himself in front of Mj because he's too much of a wuss to watch a horror movie. Cool.

When they're about 1/4th through the movie, Peter is almost completely hidden under a blanket.

When they get to the halfway mark, Peter, without realizing it, latches onto Mj. He wraps both of his arms around one of Mj's and buries his face in his shoulder. And now, even though he would never admit it and Peter would never know, Mj was the one blushing.

The most affection Mj has ever given or received were those few times he hugged Peter. He doesn't _do_ romance or cuddling or affection. That's not who he is.

Or at least, that's what he tells himself. What he says to convince himself that he's not enjoying every second of this and he's not going to get attached to Peter too quickly. Because that's exactly what his mom did, and he doesn't want to make the same mistake as she did. Peter may be his soulmate, but the universe can make mistakes, and he's not going to get attached until he know this is 100% the right thing.

So later, when Peter falls asleep still clinging to Mj, he's not going to slowly climb out of bed and grab a bandaid, sticking it gently to the cut on Peter's hand. He's not going to gently wrap his arm around Peter's shoulders when he start whimpering in his sleep. He's not going to use his free hand to card his fingers through Peter's hair. He's not going to tuck the blanket more tightly around him, and he's definitely not going to press a small kiss to the top of his head.

Because that's what someone else would do. Not Mj.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops sorry for everyone who wanted Harley to be his soulmate.  
> Anyways hi! here's a longer chapter to make up for taking so long to update.. hope you enjoyed and I hope you're all doing well :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Mj are hanging out until Peter gets a slightly worrying phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! thank you for being so patient over the last month. i barely have anytime to write now that school has started.  
> plus, i wasn't planning on making this story longer than nineteen chapters, but since you guys like it so much i decided to make it longer even though i have no clue where the plot is going.

"Hey Mj?" 

"Hmm?" 

"It's been seven months, yknow. Since you told me we're soulmates." 

"Yeah?" 

"Er, well, uh- no, nevermind. Sorry. Ned wanted to hang out today, you cool with that?" 

"No, hold on. Whats up? What were you going to say?" Mj sits up from where he's laying on his bedroom floor, turning to fully face Peter. 

"Nothing, really. Don't worry about it." 

"Peter, c'mon. What's wrong?" Mj scoots across the floor to sit next to Peter, placing a hand on his knee. 

"It's just- Seven months. We haven't had our first kiss. You haven't actually mentioned the fact that we're not technically dating. You treat me all sweet and you're so soft but as soon as there are other people around you go back to treating me like I'm Ned or something. And you hold my hand and we cuddle but then we go out in public you'll barely even touch me. And I know when you think I'm sleeping you kiss my forehead or cheek and stuff but you never do it when I'm really awake. I feel like you're ashamed to be seen with me or like you don't want anyone to know we're soulmates so the only person I've actually told is Tony. Ned doesn't even know. I don't want to tell anyone if you're not comfortable with it but I really want people to know because I really really like you. And I feel like you're ashamed of me. I already said that crap. But yeah fuck I just really like you and I don't know why you don't like me and I really wanna know what I'm doing wrong because- mmph!" 

Mj cuts Peter off by grabbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger, pressing his lips firmly against his soulmate's. Peter freezes for a moment but eventually wraps his arms around Mj's shoulders, melting into the kiss. 

Mj pulls away for a breath, resting his forehead against Peter's. "I like you, Peter." 

"Really? Because-" 

"Peter, I like you." 

"Okay but-" 

"You're such a dumbass," Mj mumbles, pressing his lips against Peter's again. It's a softer kiss this time. Mj's no longer trying to prove a point, but just trying to get Peter to shut up. 

"Wait, no, stop. You can't just- just kiss me and think that makes up for everything. I spent months thinking you didn't actually like me. And-and I kept thinking- I still think I'm doing something wrong. And you're embarrassed to be seen with me in public and-and-and-ugh! I just- I feel-" Peter cuts himself off, pushing himself away from Mj and burying is face in his hands. 

Mj sits there in silence. He knows how he should answer. He knows what he's supposed to say. But actually saying it is the problem. He's not good at accepting his emotions, let alone saying how he's feeling outloud. 

Peter eventually lifts his head and props his chin up on his knees, studying Mj. After the silence stretches for far too long, Peter speaks up. "So... you have nothing to say?"

"I do- I just- I'm not sure how to say it." 

"Just say it. Say whatever the hell you're thinking because I'm seriously dying here, Michael." 

"Peter I'm scared. I'm genuinely terrified of all of this. My mom- she didn't consider the fact that the universe could have made a mistake with her and my bio dad, and she got her heart broken. I can't just- I can't just blindly accept this." 

"Mikey... it's been seven months. How much time do you need to accept the fact that this is real and this is happening? Because- because I really like you. And I don't think this was a mistake." 

"I know. Fuck, I know. I'm just- It's just- I'm scared." 

"Mikey, you know me. You know me. I'm not going to hurt you or leave you or-or- fuck, Mikey, I'm in love with you. Completely fucking in love with you and I would never forgive myself for hurting you if that ever happened. Please just- Please." Peter sounds like he's in so much pain, and he is. He hurts so much. He's so completely and totally in love with Mj and the thought that Mj thinks this is a mistake hurts so god damn much. 

"Okay," Mj whispers. He only says word, but it carries so much weight with it. All of the hurt and all of the fears and doubts held in that one word. 

"Okay?" 

"I think...I think I'm in- er- uh...I think I'm in love with you too. And I'll- I'm going to try." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." 

Peter let's out a loud breath, hunching over slightly. He'd been waiting for Mj to say that for seven months. 

"Hey, c'mere," Mj mumbles, crawling over to Peter. He gently pulls Peter into his side and hugs him tightly. "I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you. God I can't- I can't believe I made you think that. I'm so sorry," he says. 

Peter simply shakes his head, sinking into Mj's embrace. He's fine, he really is. He just wishes he could have brought this up earlier. 

Just when he starts getting comfortable in Mj's arms, his phone rings on the bed. "Ignore it. It's probably not important," Mj mutters. 

"No I have to. The only person who calls without texting first is Tony." Peter untangles himself from Mj and stands up, wobbling slightly on legs that are halfway asleep. "Hello?" 

"Yeah, hi Scott, I know its you. What's wrong? Fuck, okay. Yeah. I'm on my way. A- you're sending a helicopter? No, people are gonna see me. Just- bring it to the city limit. I'll be there in ten. Yeah. Bye." Peter shoves his phone into his pocket, turning to Mj. "I have to go. Like, now."

"Why? What's wrong? Is everyone okay?" Mj pulls himself off of the floor, helping Peter shove his stuff into his bag.

"Emergency. I just- I need to go. I'm sorry. Fuck, ugh, I'll come back for this. Bye!" Peter throws his half packed bag onto the bed and presses a small kiss to Mj's cheek, bolting out of his room. 

He sprints out of the apartment, ignoring Mj's parents' questions and looks of concern. He runs through the city as fast as he can, which is way faster than any average human. He reaches the city limit just as the helicopter comes into veiw, touching down in a small empty field about a mile away. He sprints to it, barely breaking a sweat. 

"What the hell is going on? What happened?" Peter asks as soon as he swings himself into the helicopter. The helicopter is off the ground before Peter can even buckle. 

"The team was on a mission and Tony's suit got screwed up. He fell straight into the water. He'll be fine. We think." 

"You think?! You're telling me my-my...my dad got hurt and won't wake up and all you can say is you think he'll be fine?!" Peter can barely stop himself from shouting. 

"Calm down, Mr. Parker. Nothing will get better by throwing a fit." 

"I'm not throwing a- who even are you?!" 

"Maria Hill. Director of Shield." 

"Jesus Christ- I- Uh, I'm sorry Miss Hill. I'm just- well, yknow." 

"It's perfectly okay, Peter. I understand. So, when we get to the compound, Bruce might still be running tests. You'll have to wait outside of the medbay if he is and-" 

"No."

"Excuse me?" 

"No. There's no way I'm waiting outside. I need to- I'm going to see him." Peter wants to feel bad. Wants to apologize for being so rude to this women he just met because she's just doing her job. But he can't. Not when there's a possibility of Tony not waking up. 

"Mr.Parker, you can't-"

"In the most respectful way possible, I don't care. I'm sorry. I need to see him. I'll stay out of the way if they're doing tests but-but I need to be in the room."

Maria doesn't say anything, but she eventually gives Peter a curt nod. The helicopter lands about two minutes later and Peter is unbuckling and jumping out of it before it even touches the roof. He's vaguely aware of Maria calling his name, but he doesn't care. He sprints and sprints and sprints until hes standing outside of the room Tony's in, staring at hin through the window. 

Bruce steps out of the room, so engrossed in whatevers on his clipboard that he doesn't see Peter until he runs into him. "Ah, Peter. We just finished tests, come on in." He turns back around and opens the door, holding it for Peter and then following him into the room. 

The sight isn't at all what Peter expected. He expected Tony to be pale blue or green. He expected hundreds upon hundreds of tubes and wires sticking out of his body. He, at the very least, expected a broken bone or two. 

That was pretty much the exact opposite of what Peter saw when he stepped into the medbay. Tony had a few scrapes and bruises and about four tubes in each arm, but otherwise looked unharmed. If Peter didn't know Tony was unconscious and possibly dying, he'd just think he was asleep. 

"Bruce he looks- he looks fine," Peter mumbles, slowly walking across the room and sitting in the chair next to Tony's bed. 

"He is. For the most part." 

"What does that mean?" 

"Well, there's a twenty percent chance he won't wake up. If he does wake up, theres a pretty big chance there will be some gaps in his memory. We don't think it'll be anything major - nothing we'll have to put him in physical therapy for," Bruce says. 

"So he's going to be okay?" 

"We think so. Yes." 

"How long until he wakes up?" 

"If he does, probably no longer than a week." 

Peter doesn't say anything after that. He squishes himself into a small ball on the metal folding chair, hugging his knees close to his chest. He doesn't notice Bruce leaving the room. 

A few of the other Avengers come in to visit Tony and make sure Peter is okay, but they all leave after a while. Peter is the only one that stays. 

He eventually falls asleep in the chair, hunched over with his head laying on the edge of the bed next to Tony's hand. And as much as Peter wants to say he sleeps well - knowing Tony is most likely going to wake up - his nightmares are worse than ever.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has been in the medbay for five days.

 

* * *

 

"Peter, hey. C'mon, you need to get out of here for awhile," Mj says softly, bending over and placing a hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter groans softly, but doesn't open his eyes.

He's been sitting next to Tony for three days now. He thinks. It's hard to tell. There aren't really any windows in the medbay and he doesn't have his phone with him, so he's unable to check the date or time.

He hasn't used the bathroom. He had to the second day, but he ignored the feeling until it went away. His abdomen hurt for a little bit after that, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle.

Mj, Steve, and Rhodey had been bringing him down food and water. Mj really only came to make sure Peter was taken care of, but Steve and Rhodey usually stayed for a bit to sit with Tony. Sometimes Peter would leave the room and watch through the viewing window to give them a bit of privacy, but he never stopped watching. If Tony woke up, Peter wanted to be there.

"No, stop it. It's been five days, Peter. You need to sleep in an actual bed and eat an actual meal and- god, take a damn shower." Mj latches his hands to Peters shoulders, pulling him backwards so he's sitting up. Peter finally looks up at Mj through red-rimmed eyes. _Five days_?

"Come on, lets go."

"No."

"Peter you can't just- you can't just say no."

"Mikey, if it's really been f-five days, he could wake up any minute. Bruce said no longer than a week," Peter mumbles while pulling away from Mj's grip.

"They did some tests while you were asleep, Peter. He's not going to wake up today. So you're going to get your ass up, take a shower, get something to eat, take a nap, and then we can come right back. If you're that worried about him, Bruce will go get someone to sit here with him until you get back."

"No, I can't- can't leave him alone."

"I'll be here the whole time, kid. Go do what you need to do," Rhodey, who Peter hadn't noticed enter the room, says.

Peter wants to keep protesting - he tries. But Mj brought backup. Mj makes eye contact with someone through the viewing window and nods. Peter doesn't see who it is until they're helping Mj drag him out of his chair. "C'mon, Ned, please?" 

"Ned don't look at him. He's using his fucking puppy dog eyes and- fuck. We have to get him to his room," Mj grumbles, slinging one of Peter's arms over his shoulders. 

"I can- I can walk by myself. Get off of me." Peter shoves himself away from the two of them, walking a few feet ahead. If he's being forced to do this he might as well do it with some dignity. 

Mj and Ned share a look, frowning at Peter and then at each other. They're not hurt by Peter's new attitude, they understand. They're just worried.

Peter has just changed so much since his aunt died. At first he was just quiet. Never coming to school, and when he did he never spoke and fell asleep in class. But he got better. He came to school a bit more often and he was turning back into his sweet self - until Tony showed up. 

Peter started getting angry. Started having anxiety attacks. He'd stumble over his words more. He would snap at people a lot (although, he'd immediately apologize). There was even that one day where he had the huge argument with Tony.

But he was getting better again. He started visiting his aunts grave more and inviting Ned over more frequently. He even saw a therapist a few times, but that didn't last long. He didn't like the sessions, so he quit. But he did get put on meds for his anxiety and it's helped a lot. He was starting to really be who he was before the accident.

But now, with Tony not waking up... His anger issues are coming back. It may be because he hasn't been sleeping as much, or because he's dehydrated and starving. It may be because he hasn't had fresh air in days and he's sick with worry. It could be all of them. But everyone knows it's really because of the nightmares. 

Everytime he closes his eyes he see it. Tony - dead. Zombified. A loud voice telling him it's his fault. All his fault. If he were better, if he had done more, Tony would still be alive. 

"Peter, dude, you're going the wrong way." Ned reaches out and grabs Peter's shoulder, stoping him in his tracks. 

"No I'm not." 

"Well your room and the kitchen are both the other way." 

"No they're not."

When Peter tears himself out of Neds grip, Ned looks back at Mj desperately. Mj gives a small nod and Ned moves out of his way while he rushes to catch up with Peter. 

He jumps in front of him, not budging when he gets rammed into. "Peter. Pete. C'mon. Come here," Mj says softly and wraps his arms tightly around Peter's shoulders. 

Peter struggles for a minute. He tries to break free of the embrace - and he definitely could if he really wanted to. He's stronger than any human ever will be. But somewhere, somewhere deep in his subconscious, he doesn't want to pull away. 

Eventually, that feeling rises to the surface and Peter collapses into Mj's arms. He hooks both of his arms around Mj's neck and sobs into his chest, finally letting out all of the emotions he's been holding back for the last week. 

Mj frowns and slowly sinks onto the floor with Peter, holding his boyfriend close to him. "It's my- my fault. If I were there- if I helped- if-if-if I was better he'd be okay!" 

"Hey, hey stop it. That's not true. It's not your fault, Peter." Mj pulls Peter away from him just enough so he can look him in the eye. "This is not your fault. You hear me? You're not going to sit here and blame yourself for something you didn't do, got it?" 

Peter can't do anything but nod and let Mj brush his tears away with his thumbs. 

"I'm going to go make some lunch for the three of us, I'll bring it to Peter's room when I'm done," Ned says, awkwardly backing down the hallway and away from the two of them. It's hard being friends with two soulmates. He feels like he's imposing on a lot of private moments whenever he's around. 

Peter and Mj sit there for a little while longer. Mj is content just sitting there and comforting Peter, but eventually he knows they have to get up. 

Instead of making Peter stand, he awkwardly shifts their position so hes cradling Peter, so when he stands up he's already holding Peter bridal style. Peter, to both of their surprise, doesn't protest at being carried. 

"You gonna eat or are you gonna throw another fit?" Ned asks when the two of them enter the room, making a space on the bed for Mj to set Peter. 

Peter shoots Ned a sharp glare, but nods and accepts the food being thrusted towards him. He doesn't pick at the food. Doesn't avoid eating it. He does the exact opposite, actually, and basically inhales it.

He's hungry. He's so fucking hungry. It's not like he hadn't been eating. No, people brought him food. He ate it. But this was some sort of internal hunger. Not a hunger for food. A hunger for... for... He doesn't even know. But it's some deep gut feeling that he feels like only food can satisfy, although its not helping at all. 

"Perfect. Shower?" Mj asks, gathering the now empty plates of food from Peter and Ned. Peter nods, trudging into the bathroom across the hall. 

"That was way easier than it should have been," Mj says. He collapses onto the bed and turns his head towards Ned, who's sitting on the beanbag. 

"Yeah. It was definitely more unsettling than him throwing a tantrum over it. At least that's something we've dealt with before. This is... weird. It's like he's just giving up." 

"I know. And it's not even what he was doing after what happened with May. He's actually responding this time. I don't know what's worse- him responding and complying but not actually being here, or him not responding at all. They're both... what'd you say? Unsettling."

"Do you think there's something we can do to help?" 

"I think at this point the only person who can is Tony." 

Ned frowns at that, sinking down into the beanbag. He wants to help. He should be able to help for fucks sake, he's Peter's best friend. Of all people, he should be the one that can help. But he can't. No matter how hard he tries, he just can't. 

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Ned asks softly. 

"Peter or Tony?" 

"Both." 

"As long as Tony's okay, Peter will be fine." 

"But if he's not?" 

"He will be. Both of them." 

Ned doesn't want to question anymore, but he's finding it harder and harder to believe that Tony will be okay. Wasn't he supposed to wake up before today? Or did they say tomorrow? He's losing track. He's so sick with worry over Peter he can't even keep track of the days."

Can we go back down now?" Peter appears in the doorway, his hair a wet mess flopping over his forehead. If it weren't so quiet in the room, Ned and Mj might not have heard him with how softly he was speaking. 

"No. Sleep in a real bed for once. You're destroying your back sleeping in that chair." Mj climbs off the bed, pulling the covers back for Peter.

A wave of nostalgia washes over Peter as he climbs under the heavy blanket and allows Mj to tuck him in.

_May leans over him, tucking the soft dinosaur blanket securely around Peters body. "You all settled, Petey?" she asks, grabbing his Ironman stuffie from the end of the bed and slipping it in the crook of Peters arm._

_Peter shakes his head, his eyes flicking towards his dark nightlight. May smiles fondly, walking to the other side of the room and flipping the small light on. "Anything else?"_

_"Can you read me the story again? About the mouse and the cookie?"_

_"'Course, baby." May smiles softly at Peter and grabs the book off his nightstand before sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed._

_She holds the book open with one hand, using the other to card her fingers through Peters hair. The combination of her smooth voice and her fingers in his hair sends Peter to sleep before May can even finish the fourth page of the book._

_A small, fond smile on her face, May places the book on Peters nightstand once again. She bends down to press a light kiss to Peters temple. "G'night, Petey."_

Now Mj does the same, pressing a small kiss to Peters forehead. "Get some rest, Peter. I'll be right here when you wake up." 

And with that, Peter is out, feeling content and forgetting about Tony for just a few moments before the nightmares arrive.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end??

* * *

 

Peter cracks his eyes open a bit, immediately shutting them with a sound of discomfort. He gives himself a moment to allow his body to fully wake up before opening his eyes again. They immediately flit down to his right hand, which is intertwined with Mj's. He allows himself a few seconds to admire his boyfriend while he's not paying attention before speaking through a throat still thick with sleep. "Can we go down now?"

"Hmm? Oh, g'morning. You wanna take a few minutes to wake up at least? Or get breakfast?" Mj asks, turning his phone off and sliding it into the front pocket of his sweatshirt.

Peter shakes his head, untangling his fingers from Mj's so he can slide out of bed. "Alright, let's go then." Mj stands up and follows Peter out of the room.

"Ned had to leave, by the way. He said he'll be back tomorrow if you want him to be."

Peter doesn't do much more than nod. Obviously he cares his best friend is gone. He feels more grounded when Ned is around. Slightly more sane. But he can't think about it right now. Right now all he can worry about is Tony.

_Did someone stay with him like they said they would? Did he wake up? Did he wake up alone? Without Peter? Have the results changed? Is he going to wake up at all?_

"Peter! Hey! Peter! You can't go in there!"

Peter doesn't even realise he's about to enter the Medbay until Bruce catches his shoulder, pulling him away from the door.

"What? Why? Let me go!" Peter tries to tear himself away from Bruce, but he motions Mj over and now Mj has two arms around his shoulders and is pinning Peter to his chest.

"We're running tests. You need to stay out here."

"Is he okay? Why can't I see him? Is he awake? What's going on in there?" Peter pulls Mj off of him, careful not to hurt him but still using more of his strength than necessary.

"Hes okay. He woke up a little bit ago. You can see him really soon, okay? I promise. We just need to finish these tests."

"He's awake?! You said he wouldn't wake up! You said- you said he wouldn't wake up yet! You said I could be there! You lied! You lied to me!" Peter bares his teeth at Bruce and Mj, screaming at them and backing them up against a wall. He barely even realises hes shouting. Doesn't notice how scared Bruce and Mj look. All he can think about is Tony and the fact that he's awake and alone.

"I'm so sorry, Peter. We didn't think he would wake up! I promise I didn't mean to lie!" Bruce tries to reason with him.

"And where's Rhodey, huh? Did he lie too? Did he _leave_ Tony to wake up _alone?!"_

"He didn't- Well I mean- Yeah but we didn't-"

"Stop lying to me!" Peter screams at them so violently his throat starts going raw after just a few sentences.

Peter opens his mouth, preparing to scream again, when two strong arms wrap around him from behind. "Hey, you need to calm down. This isn't their fault. If you want to see Tony you have to calm down," Steve says sternly.

Peter thrashes around in Steve's arms until he hears Tony's name. "I can go see him?"

"Only when you calm down."

"I'm calm."

"No, you're not."

Peter starts to argue, but Steve passes him off to Mj. He wraps one arm tightly around Peters shoulders and uses the other to cup Peters face. "You need to calm down, okay? Everythings gonna be okay. He's okay. You're okay. See, look at you? Your breathing is already slowing down. Yeah, thats it. Good job love. Let me see your hands? Look at that, they've stopped shaking. You wanna go see him now?"

Peter nods softly, tears filling his eyes. Only now does he register what he was doing just moments ago. He didn't mean to scream at them. He didn't mean to scare them. He looks over to Bruce, who's still pressed against the wall. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry at you. I'm sorry. I'm really r-really sorry."

"It's okay, Peter. Go see your dad, yeah?" Mj presses his lips against Peter's quickly before gently pushing him towards Tony's room.

Peter takes a few deep breaths before pushing the door open, timidly stepping into the room. "D-dad? Are you okay?"

Tony gives Peter a large, slow, drowsy grin. "Hey Pete," he murmurs, his words slightly slurred from the drugs being injected into his body.

Peter makes his way across the room to Tony and sits down in the chair next to his bed. "How're youfeelin'?" Tony asks.

"I'm okay. Don't worry about it. I'm not the one laying in-in a hospital bed. How are _you_ feeling?"

"'M okay. Kinda tired, but okay."

Peter nods, letting his eyes trail over the tubes coming out of Tonys arms. Somehow he looks even worse than he did that first day Peter saw him.

Tony watches Peters eyes and grunts, swatting at Peters chest lazily. "Stop it, 'm fine. They're jus- they're makin me tired."

"You should g-get some rest then. I'll leave you alone."

Before Peter can even stand up, Tony is dead asleep. Peter turns towards the door where Bruce is standing, waiting for Bruce to make him leave. Instead, the doctor smiles softly and shakes his head, turning and walking out of the room. His work is done for the time being - he would check in on Tony later. Peter can stay with him for a bit longer.

~

Bruce turns the events of the last few months over in his head while he walks through the compound. His mind wanders a few times, but it always comes back to Peter. There's a lot to think about when it comes to the kid.

Bruce has been here through it all (excluding the night Peter actually arrived) with Peter and Tony. He's watched their relationship grow into what it is now, and its definitely been a bit of a bumpy ride.

Sometimes, when Peter left, Bruce was scared he wasn't going to come back. He never told Tony that, though.

In the end, Peter came back everytime. Tony would take him to his "secret room" everytime, and everytime Peter would come out looking like someone had just sucked his soul out of his body. But the next day, without fail, Peter was almost back to his happy self.

This time was no exception. Although, this time, Tony was the one that left. And Peter was probably going to take more than just one day to recover mentally. Tony's hospitalization had really taken a different kind of toll on his emotions that no one at the compound had seen before.   
But for now, sitting there by Tony's side, he's going to be just fine.

All of them will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not totally satisfied with this ending and im so sorry because i know most of you wont be either. i wish i knew how to fix it.  
> "where are they now" coming later in place of an epilogue.


End file.
